Stardate 11222002
I like making this column something like a variety show. Some fun things, some “something to think about” things, some weird things, some Hollywood things, and some just-plain-folks-everyday-life things. I think what I’m doing is saying “this is what is happening in the world and this is how we are living our lives and here’s a few dancing monkeys to entertain you.”
I watch a lot of celebrity talk shows just to see how they are structured. Leno and Conan usually run about the same. Fanfare, monologue, the band, more witty banter (or not so witty on the days the writers forgot to take their drugs) and introducing the show and then a skit or a novelty act and then the first guest, second guest and the band and then , “stay tuned for …” Roll credits, and we’re outta here. One of these days I’m going to do an in-depth story of how Conan or Leno gets their show together, who’s involved and how much work it takes.
At least that’s the cheap ploy I’m going to use to get behind the action.
Preferably at NBC’s expense. Because hey, this isn’t just LIKE advertising. It IS advertising.
California has a Poet Laureate and his name is Quincy Troupe. I listened to him read from his book TRANCIRCULARITIES at a poetry festival at the Autrey Museum in Los Angeles and then he showed up at a small independent bookstore here in the Marin hinterlands. Most of the poets who are considered “real” poets all teach in universities, else they’d starve. Troupe teaches in San Diego and he’s got a poetry buddy in Sonoma. By not mentioning her exact name, I’m bucking the system. (Her name is Gillian Conoley. And she was quite spirited at the Place As Purpose poetry festival where she read with Troupe.)
Blue Leader this is Red Leader
The first annual San Francisco Green Festival boasted “The Worlds Leading Green Thinkers” for a weekend of consumer education about sustainable economies, ecological balance and social justice. While there were some of the dreadlocked “Forest Defenders” most of the people at the festival looked like regular mall folks to me, wondering like myself, what I can do and how to do it. I learned about conscious investing, green home technologies, cleaner transportation, practical renewable energy, organic foods and cooking and natural health and beauty.
I was especially intrigued by Linda Riebel’s speech called “Eating to Save The Earth: Food Choices for Everyone.” Food is so basic. I want it to nourish me, not make me sick. All the chemicals agribusiness dumps on their crops ends up in me. Yuck. Cancer Snack, anyone? All the speeches are available on tape at www.ConferenceRecording.com, Green Festival. There are tentative festivals planned for Denver in May and Austin in September of 2003. for information.
Man, I’m just full of public service announcements.
I’ve got one more company to promote. First, SprintPCS customer service totally sucks. I dread calling them because I know I’ll wait an hour and then get someone who can’t help me. I called recently and was transferred four times to “someone who can help you” before being left on hold indefinitely.
I now wish I had never left Working Assets Wireless. Whenever I called Working Assets, I didn’t have to find the secret menu choice that would eventually get me a live person and Working Assets Wireless customer service always knew what I was asking them and could always help me. And if you sign up for Working Assets Long Distance, you get a free pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream every month for a year. I’ve moved so many times that I’ve been getting free ice-cream for several years now.
The secret to getting past that annoying “Claire, your virtual assistance” is to act as if you are paying your bill and then let it hang when it comes time to give your financial information – you’ll be transferred to a money collector who can also look at your account, even if they won’t have any idea what they are looking at.
I just gotta wonder about the management culture at SprintPCS. Catchy advertising aside, the reality is that SprintPCS has totally neglected their most important public interface, the one with the customer. I’m seriously considering buying myself out of my contract because dealing with SprintPCS is such a monstrously unnecessary waste of time.
Grrrr…
I’m on this bondage and discipline polyamory discussion list because I like to keep up on what’s going on in the world and I got wind of a multi-media musical called SCABARET. As near as I can tell, SCABARET is about a goddess who protects hermaphrodites and has a love/hate relationship with the M.C., Mr.Ection. Outside of that, I have no idea what was going on in this bizarre circus of people in cages, crippled clowns, and a breakdancing television. There was even a set change. Mr.Ection, at some point, yelled, “I’m Justin Timberlake.”
I have no idea what that was supposed to mean and I’m usually pretty good in the obscure metaphorical avant-garde department. And just when I thought the show had outdone itself in the weird department, Babar Streisand, a very large man in a dress wearing an elephant mask and singing show tunes, showed up for a peanut fight with the Edith Bunker dancers. If you are in San Francisco, you have to see this show.
The USC School of Film and Television is now the proud home of the Frank Sinatra collection. The School threw a big party to celebrate the dedication of the Frank Sinatra hall. I ran into Hollywood Elsewhere’s Jeff Wells and snapped a shot of Nancy Sinatra. The student jazz band played “These Boots Are Made For Walking” while Nancy took the podium and she said, “I just can’t get away from that song.”
Tina Sinatra is currently producing a remake of THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE starring Denzel Washington. Denzel Washington is set to receive a lifetime achievement award from The American Cinematheque. Tom Hanks will hand Denzel the award at a black-tie ball in December.
I had a nice chat with Beverly White, a broadcast journalist for the Los Angeles NBC affiliate evening news. She’s the one they send out to “the scene” where her last words are usually, “Back to you …”
She complimented me on my mismatched shirt and tie. “How many ways can you wear black?,” she asked. Which made me think of that scene in ZOOLANDER when everyone is arriving at the showdown and it’s all black on black. “It’s nice to see someone break up the monotony of this crowd.” Now if we could only take that idea and apply it to the nightly news.
I was a shocked to hear about Jeff Jones and Paul Reubens charge for possession of child porn. Inside sources tell me that Reubens may have only been in possession of a photo of a nude seventeen year old boy. That’s legal in Kansas. And England. Jones is looking at felony charges for the more grievous crime of putting barely adolescent boys in sexually provocative positions. Jeff Jones played the principal in FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF. I wonder how the photographs were discovered by police?
And lastly, and most importantly, Saturday is my birthday. I’ll be 33. Since I have no friends, just my pretend late-night talk show friends and my birthday is on a non-talk-show night, I may just go see SIGUR ROS, because their music has a way of amplifying alone-ness. Afterwards, I can head down into the Mission and find some Mexican band to sing me the saddest song they know.
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