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Week of March 13, 2006 |
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You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.
Emilio's 17
Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...
This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'
I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!
Maybe this is all a bad dream too?
Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)
There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.
You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.
This band will go down like a lead balloon
Well, Goodbye there Children...
They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?
Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt
Panic on the streets of Austin
You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!
Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall
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THE BREAK-UP |
$39.17
$12759/av |
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X-MEN: THE LAST STAND |
$34.02
$9159/av |
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OVER THE HEDGE |
$20.65
$5170/avg |
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THE DAVINCI CODE |
$18.61
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MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III |
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POSEIDON |
$3.49
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RV |
$3.20
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SEE NO EVIL |
$2.04
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AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH |
$1.36
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JUST MY LUCK |
$855K
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E-MAIL THE AUTHOR
THE BOTTOM OF THINGS
By Michael Sampson
February 25, 2004
Just off the start, I’d like to follow up last week’s BATMAN/SUPERMAN column with a few notes/additions/revisions/comments/etc. First off, the comments that Superman could fly “due in part” to his alien comment may have been misleading. Scratch that -- they were misleading. I got a lot of e-mail about this one half-sentence and I’d just like to clear up, for the record, that I don’t know where I got that from. As I told people, I did a lot of research for that article and that particular source got lost in all my links and notes. I’ve tried to retrace my steps but I can’t find it anywhere the way I read it. I’m guessing I read something incorrectly or misinterpreted it. What I’ve found out now is that there is an electrochemical aura that surrounds Superman that may have something to do with his ability to fly and also protects his costume from ripping, burning and so on (but since his cape flows away from his body, it is not protected, which is why you frequently see it torn and ragged after a particularly grueling fight).
Secondly, you probably read by now all the subsequent additions to BATMAN since I posted that article. Three Oscar-nominees added to the cast in Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson and Ken Watanabe. Pretty damn impressive. And a few people wrote in to tell me that SUPERMAN may be put on hold indefinitely and McG is on his way out the door. The rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer...
Now back to the future. This here is what we call a transition, stand-alone column. Kinda like those episodes of “X-Files” that didn’t follow the continuity of the show and didn’t advance the running plot at all. It wasn’t originally supposed to be this way. Let me explain...
The original plan for this week’s column was actually a pretty neat and interesting one. Fox Searchlight came to me about two weeks ago wondering if I’d like to do anything with the Broken Lizard guys to promote CLUB DREAD. I already talked to director Jay Chandrasekhar on the phone while he was directing an episode of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT (actually just a couple days after Ryall , who apparently flew so low under the radar Jay didn’t even know he was there, was on set) and it was a blast so I was eager to work with some of the guys again.
Fox and I talked, I talked to Ryall, talked again to Fox and we came up with the bright idea to have some of the guys guest-write the Bottom. They were eager to do it, I was eager to do it (primarily cause it meant little work by me) and Ryall was too busy picking out floral arrangements for his wedding to give a shit. Everyone was happy.
Well, so much for the best-laid plans of mice and men. It didn’t work out and this is not a member of Broken Lizard (unless of course that’s the twist ending you’ll come upon at the end of this column...). Basically everyone involved -- me, them, Fox -- got really busy and the idea kept getting pushed back until we realized it’d be too late to get something quality off the ground. No one wanted to do something half-assed so we did nothing at all. Actually I shouldn’t say that.... We did nothing so far. But this column here, like I explained above, is just killing space until the next column, which will be very heavy with Broken Lizard goodness. Later today (Wednesday) I’ll be hitting the CLUB DREAD premiere and partying Rick James-style (see below) afterwards with the gang. Plus there’ll be that interview with Elisha Cuthbert that’s leaving me weak in the knees some four weeks later. And the column after that is a JERSEY GIRL extravaganza and also my time with Angelina Jolie and Ethan Hawke, who’re promoting TAKING LIVES. So I’m slacking...but I’m not really slacking. If that makes sense.
Anyway, to steal and elaborate on one of Ryall’s gimmicks, here are a few things I’m digging lately:
TV - “Chappelle’s Show” – If you haven’t been watching Comedy Central’s “Chappelle’s Show,” shame on yourself. Lucky for you, they’re replaying it about 100 times a week so you can catch up before the season ends. I thought the first season was great (and it still is thanks to the new uncensored DVD) but with the new season, Dave Chappelle and his gang have really brought their A-game. Samuel L. Jackson lager. The – ahem – “Niggar Family.” And of course, the Rick James/Charlie Murphy episode which was an instant classic. A mark of any good comedy skit is how quotable it is and that episode has more usable daily quotes that you can shake a stick at. Next time you’re out at a bar, tell your friend, “Hold my drink, beitch” in your best Rick James voice.
MUSIC - The White Stripes – “The Peel Sessions” – Don’t go searching through the racks of Sam Goody for this one cause it’s not one you’ll find for sale. This one’s free as a bird and still one of the best albums I’ve heard this year. It’s over three years old and recorded around the time “White Blood Cells” was recorded and before “Fell in Love With a Girl” hit it big for BBC radio host John Peel. Jack and Meg play 13 songs, many of which are rare gems. Since the mini-concert was engineered for radio and recorded right from the board, the sound is exquisite. You could cut out the applause at the end and beginning of each song, release it as a studio album and few people would know. A great variety of rarities, early stuff and new stuff that’ll delight Stripes devotees as well as the casual fan. Head over to WhiteStripes.net to download.
MOVIE - Judah Friedlander in AMERICAN SPLENDOR - I only recently got to see AMERICAN SPLENDOR after hearing about it topping the list of many a critics’ top ten. I have to say I was disappointed in the movie overall but couldn’t help but love every second Toby Radloff, played by an incognito Judah Friedlander, was on screen. You know Friedlander from SHOWTIME, MEET THE PARENTS and “Curb Your Enthusiasm” or as the hugging guy from the Dave Matthews Band video “Everyday.” But his performance as the “Genuine Nerd” saved the flick for me. Everyone else is praising Paul Giamatti and Hope Davis (and rightly so) but what about the credit for Friedlander? Oh and you can tell him that. E-mail him at judah_f@yahoo.com. Seriously.
WEB - http://www.vgmuseum.com - Remember Atari Lynx? And TurboGrafx16? Looking for screenshots from Mike Tyson’s PunchOut? Then look no further than The Video Game Museum, which is exactly what it sounds like. An online museum of all things video games from music, original advertisements and the web’s largest collection of game endings all for systems from ColecoVision to xBox. Any former or current gamer will be stuck here for hours laughing at all the stuff you almost forgot about. (Honorable Mention - http://www.kersbergen.com/temp/worstalbumcovers.html - There’s a lot you could say about this, but it’s pretty damn funny all by itself. Zip Zap Rap!)
GAMES- I know this isn’t exactly breaking news as this game has been out for a while now, but if you own a system and you don’t have “Simpsons - Hit & Run” you are really missing out. For those who weren’t aware, the game is basically a retread of “Grand Theft Auto” but in Springfield with the Simpson family. Simple. But up until this point there hasn’t been a Simpsons video game worth playing. This changes everything. Funny, challenging, great graphics and damn addictive. Finally a game that rewards Simpsons geeks like myself by being able to drive the Canyonero.
That’s about it for this week. Apologies again for the brevity but I promise there are plenty of interesting things to come. In the meanwhile, hold my drink, beitch, here are my quick Oscar predictions.
BEST PICTURE - RETURN OF THE KING
BEST ACTOR - Sean Penn, MYSTIC RIVER
BEST ACTRESS - Charlize Theron, MONSTER
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR - Tim Robbins, MYSTIC RIVER
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS - Shohreh Aghdashloo, THE HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG
BEST DIRECTOR - Peter Jackson, RETURN OF THE KING
BEST ANIMATED FILM - FINDING NEMO
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY - MYSTIC RIVER
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY - LOST IN TRANSLATION
And remember, keep your fingers crossed for MOST (THE BRIDGE) to win Best Short Film (Live Action) just so you can see William “Johnny Lawrence” Zabka win an Oscar. God, that’d be amazing.
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