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Breakdowns - When Was The Last Time Anyone Ordered a BLT?

June 12, 2003

I mean, really. We all know what it is, and have an image, perhaps even a smell or taste in our minds, but what happened? I noticed Arbys had a new BLT they were advertising, and who cares? Would you ever go out to a restaurant and order one, even a fast food restaurant? How do I tie this in to comics? Um, a lot of comics are like BLTs? Yeah?

Anyway, lots of reviews this week, and I foresee some pretty packed columns coming up, as I pass my 50th. This is, I think, the 51st BREAKDOWNS, but I had two much-appreciated fill-ins by those guys, Mal and Al, and I think, Ned? Yes, I’m a little loopy after some marathon writing with PoopShoot’s own A.K., as we have a nifty look at the cream of Fantagraphics Books, going up Friday [and linked down at the end of this column]. Before you say, “too late!”, well, it’s true Fantagraphics’ plea did get them the immediate $80K and then some that they needed to stay afloat, but they still have plenty of debt, and they’re without question the most important comics publisher going, so let’s try to give what you can to smooth out their finances a bit, okay? The piece turned out well, despite A.K.’s and my disparate writing styles. I blab on as usual, and he gets to be funny—and in a surprising move—sincere, as he waxes lyrical about Chris Ware, Richard Sala, paraplegic retards, and Steve Ditko. But that’s A.K. for ya.

I think I should have given Ditko billing over the retards, right? I blew it? Sorry.

Yes, I think this proximity to A.K.’s writing has kind of ruined me.

Also in the column is the long-awaited (?) return of Full Bleed, which is just dumb commentary like this that someone will get mad at, but under a different title. This time I notice some goofy and annoying items in the latest PREVIEWS.

THE AUTHORITY (VOL.2) #2 by Robbie Morrison and Dwayne Turner. Wildstorm. $2.99
You want to read a hilariously dead-on review of this issue? Go here. I’m not really necessary in this case. Boo-hoo. And yes, you may notice it’s written kind of in the style of A.K.’s TITLE BOUT, and pretty well at that. Anyway, I almost wish I could drum up enough emotion to do some scathing—I’m all about the scath (sorry, A.K.)—but it’s just not good enough, and…well, it’s bad enough, but it’s just that I’m not shocked or anything. I mean, if the first issue was bad, how do reviewers get so worked up to bash the second bad one just as hard or harder?

The problems with this book are simple and myriad. Morrison is trying too hard to replicate Ellis, but just doesn’t have a handle on it, and replication is the worst idea for this book. The key would be to go in a whole ‘nother area. Because if you’re going to try to recreate the same feel, you don’t go back in time to the look of the first year of STORMWATCH. It’s been said that Ellis rose to the level of his artists, and Bryan Hitch could make an okay scene into something beautiful, cool and transcendant. Turner is an average artist still stuck in a kind of sub-Silvestri style from the mid-90s, and it’s not working. And please, don’t try to have a meaningful quiet scene between teammates when their faces can’t stay consistent panel to panel. I don’t think many really expected Wildstorm to catch lightning in a bottle again, but trying to do it with a thimble isn’t fair to anybody.

JOHNNY JIHAD by Ryan Inzana. NBM Publishing. $9.95
Editorial cartoonist Inzana here depicts a mostly-convincing, often harrowing account of the programming of a disenfranchised American youth into a fanatic willing to commit murder for his faith. But it takes a little while to get to that. First one must accept the frankly awful title, which really almost challenges the reader to find nuance in the book. It sounds like an SNL sketch, or an action figure. Then there’s Inzana’s own introduction, a rather ham-fisted bunch of shaky rhetoric. And then there’s Johnny’s “origin”, the reason he gets to be the way he is. Surprise, dad was an abusive Vietnam vet, so in other words, it’s the government’s fault.

But once this rationale is established, Inzana’s strengths for inner monologue come through, as the character is utterly believable in his descent/ascent to fundamentalist Islam and terrorism. It all leads to a defining moment where he must assassinate a fellow Talib who is due to go on trial in the U.S., which could lead to disaster if the man gives evidence. It’s an exciting, draining sequence, but Inzana comes up a bit short when this moment leads to a shocked, betrayed John rejecting his new family and beliefs. The voice just changes too rapidly from zombie to bitter irony, but it’s a worthy attempt. Ultimately, I’m not sure what a reader is supposed to get out of this. As a glimpse into a sadly wasted life, a la John Walker Lindh, it rings true in large part, but there doesn’t seem to be an overarching message attached. As Inzana shows, the Taliban are just as corrupt, hypocritical and manipulative as the CIA, who get a hold of him later, so what’s the point? An interesting near-success, at least, and always compelling reading.

SPIRIT OF THE AMAZON #1 by Orlando Paes Filho; Rodrigo Pereira, Nelson Pereira and Jose Wilson Magalhaes. NW Studios U.S.A.. $2.95
I want to like this book, because I think an environmentally themed superhero comic is ambitious and good-hearted. When was the last time we saw one—Grant Morrison’s ANIMAL MAN? Also, it comes from Brazil, and I’ve never read a Brazilian comic—maybe I’m missing out on some amazing talent and culture.

If I am, the evidence is not in this book, sad to say. It’s an overwritten, over-earnest and over-rendered effort that is nicely colored but no more exotic than an Image book from ten years ago. It’s hard to follow what’s going on from the lofty language of these animal gods or whatever they are, who are of course one with the Earth and willing to fight those who would hurt Her. The villain, Greenberg (I doubt an American publisher would allow the villain to sport such an obvious Jewish name, though I don’t detect any anti-Semitism in the portrayal) is not just an environment spoiler but a leering murderer one wouldn’t expect would still be allowed to run a corporation. There’s too much dialogue, unclear characters, and the most interesting visual is that of this Jaguar God, who just looks like Marvel’s Black Panther anyway, not that there’s much you can do to differentiate one cat guy from another, I guess. I wish them well in spreading their message, but the message needs to be integrated with a dramatic, involving story, with recognizable characters.

GREYSHIRT: INDIGO SUNSET by Rick Veitch, Russ Heath, Frank Cho, John Severin, Al Williamson. America’s Best Comics/DC Comics. $19.95
Greyshirt has never been a particularly popular character—he’s a SPIRIT homage that gives Moore chances to experiment with storytelling in short bursts--but it was apparently DC’s respect for Alan Moore that led to this spin-off mini, in which Veitch expands on the character with a full-fledged origin adventure. We learn a little more about Indigo City, which is reminiscent of Old Chicago in the way it makes concessions for gangsters, and we learn about a couple specific gangsters: Johnny Apollo and Frankie Lafayette. Frankie is more the muscle of the outfit, with Johnny the brains, and they eventually have a falling out when Johnny betrays their boss in a bid for power for himself. Throughout we have the constant menace of The Lure, a snaky thing that lives in a mine in the middle of town (Indigo began as a grouping of sapphire mines) that abducts and drains the life from kids and pets it attracts.

Veitch, somewhat regrettably, eschews the Eisneresque storytelling tricks, possibly due to lack of room. It’s a fairly big story he’s telling over these six issues, weaving together some mystery, Warneresque gangster drama, romance, family conflict and that weird old Lure, a great design. It’s amiable enough, but doesn’t really become gripping until the finale. His own art is solid but restrained, only really dramatic in the look of the Lure. Maybe the size of the project caused him to get the basics down rather than try something grander, I don’t know. It’s nice to see Cho and the veterans working, Severin again the go-to guy for a Western scene, Williamson chosen more as a gesture of respect than anything, as his style here is not at all like past masterworks. Criticizing Veitch for not being as good a writer as Moore is unfair, of course, but it is telling that the Indigo Sunset newspaper pages at the end of each chapter all contain several pages of dull recapitulation of the previous story’s events, where Moore or someone else might have done something more creative. Veitch, however, does a great job on the newspaper’s comic strips, showing quite a range in both art and writing, much of the stuff quite funny. It all ends up being a respectable effort that doesn’t outdo Moore but enhances one of his creations with an engaging long-form yarn.

TOO MUCH HOPELESS SAVAGES #1 (OF 4) by Jen Van Meter and Christine Norrie. Oni Press. $2.99
The first mini left me cold, but the second mini grabbed me. I liked the romance of it. This new one, well, it’s like the first one. More hijinks, high-strung chatter and intrigue for the rock star mom and her kids. Colorful names like “Arsenal Hopeless-Savage” aside, I can’t grasp who these characters are. Van Meter has her own voice, it may be said, and obviously loves these characters she’s created, but she’s unable to get me to care about them. There are also some really contrived, nonsensical plot elements I couldn’t get around, like Grandman Savage’s new, religious husband and his congregation stomping all over the grounds and making a nuisance, and somehow the family can’t do anything about it. The guy’s brother is a judge. Yeah, okay—call the cops, anyway. It’s called trespassing and disturbing the peace. I imagine if you liked the other series this will work all right for you, and who doesn’t love the old “someone slipped drugs in my duffel bag at the airport” plot point? Me!

CONFESSIONS OF A CEREAL EATER VOL. 2 by Rob Maisch, Scott Hampton, Brett Weldele and Robyn Chapman. NBM Publishing. $9.95
It’s impossible to ignore that this second volume is a stripped-down effort, going from the paints of Scott and Bo Hampton on glossy paper to a smaller, black-and-white format of (then) up-and-coming artists on regular paper. What’s still present, however, is the strong voice of Maisch, and perhaps to counter the relative lack of visual dazzle, he packs the book with many more stories than were found in the first volume.

“Two in a Canoe” leads off the Tales from the Teen Age section, and it’s a tender ode to Maisch’s first love, with some warm humor in how the two find a place to be intimate, not noticing that bull until it’s almost too late. “Daniel’s Den” is an episode at a rock club with Maisch and his buddies taking in a young Bob Seger performance. It’s convincing and somewhat funny, though one gets the feeling these guys would have been somewhat irritating to hang out with in the same situation, the rapid-fire wisecracks a little too rapid and not so wise. “Movin’ In” and “Rat Tales” are two college prank stories, the first pretty funny and the second not so much, unless you were into throwing someone’s possessions out the window. I suppose I did some of that back then, but can’t remember it as being a particularly good gag. Brett (COUSCOUS EXPRESS) Weldele handles the art on the first one, experimenting with washes and ambient background textures to the extent he almost overpowers the straightforward college comedy, while he helps Lee Oaks on the second story’s art, coming up with a more traditional look. “The Bells” is another prank tale—and hey, I did this same gag, too—but one wonders if Maisch had anything more meaningful to say about the experience in terms of romance, loneliness, lasting friendships, career path choosing, etc., etc.

The Off to Work and Play section is unrewarding, beginning with an uneventful anecdote about Maisch booking a Santa for a Christmas parade at his mall, stretched with horror stories he’d heard about other Santa mishaps. “Junkers” and “The Ramon Campaign” find the adult Maisch involved with pranks a little too hostile and dangerous to be funny, and “Scott’s Jock” merely shows him to be an overbearing parent bent on embarrassing his son for his own amusement. Grow up, Dad, indeed.

The self-amusement continues in “A Quiet Evening at Home” but with a difference. Maisch’s jokes on then-girlfriend Fawn aren’t cruel, and she gives as good as she gets. It ends up being somewhat romantic, a battle of wits as foreplay, and the Paul Hudson artwork is terrific. “The Fog Lifts” is a fitting ending, a mature and sober recounting of Maisch—dumped by Fawn—getting back in the swing of things with the right woman. A little down in the dumps as he is at this point, his personality is actually quite appealing and he’s a lot easier to take. It’s well-written and has appropriately solid, non-flashy art by Philip Craven.

ALAN MOORE: PORTRAIT OF AN EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMAN edited by Gary Spencer Millidge and smoky man. Abiogenesis Press. $14.95
The occasion for this 350-plus page tribute is the upcoming event of Alan Moore’s 50th birthday, and there are other volumes coming from other publishers. I’ll sure be checking those out as well, but it’s safe to say we already have a truly essential companion to the work of the greatest comics writer of the past thirty years.

Millidge and “smoky man”—an Italian Moore website owner—have joined forces to produce not merely a book full of well-meaning toasts to Moore interspersed with pin-ups, though there is a fair amount of that. No, like Moore’s best work they provide other layers, other access points. Millidge himself creates a wonderful sequential art biography of Moore (a “biographic”) that sums up the man’s life and career as well as it could be in the format, and the art is incredible besides. A number of essayists discuss Moore masterworks such as FROM HELL, WATCHMEN and PROMETHEA in illuminating fashion, while some readers may just take some amusement to note Europeans still like WATCHMEN best. SWAMP THING and A SMALL KILLING also receive a good deal of discussion, and even Moore’s musical adventures are treated as another essential facet of the man, which is appropriate, as he takes it just as seriously as comics, if not moreso.

There are hours and hours of material here, and much of it is worth reading a few times to learn more about Moore and his creative process, but there are two pieces that, for me, are worth the price of the book, the Stephen Bissette letter and the Dave Sim/Moore correspondence. The former is one of the saddest love letters one will ever read, a poignant affirmation by Bissette of Moore’s talent and the honor it was to create with him, even if their personal relationship is now irrevocably severed. The latter is a series of letters between Moore and Sim about FROM HELL that would be important enough for fans of it if it didn’t also become a discussion of the two creator’s personal faiths. It’s mind-expanding, heady talk from an interesting period where Sim was admittedly “pretending” to be normal, a time long past. Moore, for his part, is tremendously engaging, self-deprecating (“Dave, you do realize you’re talking to a guy who worships a snake god, right?”) even while he’s explaining a complex philosophy with conviction.

Millidge and smoky man are to be commended for assembling a massive volume that will be meaningful for a wide variety of readers, from the casual fan to the committed Moore scholar.

XENOZOIC TALES VOL. 1: AFTER THE END by Mark Schultz. Dark Horse Comics. $14.95
There was a great time in the late 80s where not only were the mainstream books in a kind of mini-renaissance, but the creator-owned books were often of exceptional quality, with excellent production value. This was the time of not just LOVE AND ROCKETS but Baron’ and Rude’s NEXUS, and one of my other favorites from that time, XENOZOIC TALES. This book was so good that even Marvel ended up reprinting the issues, as CADILLACS & DINOSAURS in the Epic line, in color. It was even a cartoon for a while. So what happened?

Well, the speculator boom more than anything probably killed the book. Nowadays you can find Schultz writing Superman stories, but this is still his best work. This volume collects the first seven issues of the series, I believe, from 1986 to 1988? It’s a fun science fiction concept: a post-apocalyptic world where the rebuilt human society is rather simplistic and macho and has to contend with dinosaurs. “Cadillac” Jack Tenrec—so-named because of his love for, and ability to rehabilitate—the 50s cars found stored in an underground bunker, is the go-to guy in town whenever there’s trouble, or a dangerous mission that must be undertaken in the wild. He’s forced to work with Hannah Dundee, a representative of the Wassoon, a misunderstood foreign people who have sent her to improve relations (and to secretly access the library). Hannah is sassy, sensitive and crafty, while Jack is blunt, macho and a fearless proponent of rough justice, so they clash quite a bit in the early stories, even as sexual tension and a growing respect are evident.

All the stories are adventure tales that would find favor with EC Comics fans, Brylcreemed Jack against several varieties of dinosaur, though it’s often against his will. Jack respects the creatures often more than the conniving people he’s forced to deal with, and he’s not afraid to choose sides. The early stories are rougher in both the art and writing, but Schultz is still quite good in a Frazetta/Al Williamson vein, and he has stories to tell but just needs some work on the flow. His improvement over this short period of time is remarkable, however, with every panel in the last few issues’ worth a thing of beauty, and the dialogue and building romance more natural. It was a real pleasure to experience these stories again, and I believe VOL. 2 will be even better.

THE THING: NIGHT FALLS ON YANCY STREET #1 (OF 4) by Evan Dorkin and Dean Haspiel. Marvel Comics. $3.50
Does anyone even remember what the point of this “Startling Stories” line is supposed to be? 90% the character you know, but 10% huh?! Is that the tag? Anyway, if you can take a small leap and allow for the perpetually sorry-for-his-rocky-self Ben Grimm yell at an autograph-seeking kid once, this is quite an interesting story. Much of it is inner monologue characterization, well and truly beating it home how miserable Grimm is at being the only one in the Fantastic Four to be unable to look normal. And who can blame him? It takes an intriguing turn with a woman who not only accepts him for what he is, but who’s honestly turned on by it. Seems her tastes run to the outre’--and is that her ex-boyfriend The Sandman granulating down the alley?

Dorkin offers some amusing bits, such as Ben being pissed that the Red Ghost’s super apes have these radiation-induced powers but still get to look like apes, but he restrains himself from a lot of gags, concentrating on the emotional element. Haspiel is a good choice, as he’s close enough to a standard superhero artist to be competent at those elements, but brings a funky style to the proceedings that practically demands one consider the characters in a new light. Matt Madden brings his own appealing idiosyncrasies to the coloring of the book, emphasizing violets and lavenders in a way that suggests a new but not so faraway dimension to the loud purple one would see in 60s Marvels. Oh, and if you’re annoyed that the book costs $3.50, be advised it’s 33 pages of story, so you’re not getting gouged.

METROPOLIS by Osamu Tezuka. Dark Horse Comics. $13.95
The copy on this book proclaims it to be one of the most enduring classics of graphic fiction, or something, but I tell you, this is one of the looniest goddamn books you’re likely to come across. That’s not a bad thing at all, but an enduring classic? Not quite. What the book is about is an androgynous android named Michi, created by an underground collective headed by arch-criminal Duke Red. Michi and the other robots are part of a plan for world conquest, but Michi ends up being raised, Pinocchio-style, as a real boy, by a kindly scientist. He eventually has to go into hiding for fear of his life, as the Red Gang is after him, even while Duke Red himself has to put on a series of disguises to keep out of reach of the police. He’s even Sherlock Holmes for a time.

Apparently, Tezuka wrote the whole story out first and then, when he was contracted to make it a 160-page graphic novel, he had to cut several sections, which partially explains the ping-ponging plotlines. Mainly, though, one gets the feeling he was having a lot of fun processing the multitude of ideas in his head, some quite startling. There’s a section where excessive radiation has caused a number of animals to grow, so there are dozens of human-sized rats running around, only they look just like Mickey Mouse. Tezuka was influenced by, and had affection for, Disney, so it’s rather bizarre to see the scientist hide himself by skinning one of these rats and walking around in the skin. I haven’t seen the acclaimed anime from a year or two ago, but I’m curious how many of these crazy ideas have survived the translation.

ASTRO BOY fans will find this interesting, as it’s a bit of a warm-up to that more structured, commercial work. There’s the androgynous android, which, quite interestingly, changes gender if you stick your hand in its mouth and flick a switch at the back of the throat. I’ll leave the interpretation of that to the Freudians out there. Michi faces the same problems Astro Boy does with the duplicity of humans and the capacity for great good or great destruction, so it’s valuable for Tezuka fans on that level, and generally valuable for anyone else as a constantly surprising work of wit and entertainment.

Full Bleed: The Truth About June Previews

A lot of online writers will, once a month, give you their recommendations from Diamond’s PREVIEWS “magalog” for comics, graphic novels, trades, and other products you might want to preorder from your friendly neighborhood retailer. And sure, there’s some exciting new stuff coming in August, from Neil Gaiman’s SANDMAN: ENDLESS NIGHTS hardcover, 1602 and THE WOLVES IN THE WALLS to Alan Moore’s VOICES OF THE FIRE novel, Barry Windsor-Smith’s YOUNG GODS & FRIENDS, Gilbert Hernandez’ PALOMAR hardcover, Dave Cooper’s RIPPLE, Jodorowsky’s and Moebius’ THE INCAL VOL. 3 and Steven Grant’s and Mike Zeck’s DAMNED. Come to think of it, hardly any of that is technically new, but in probably the best presentations these works will ever receive. Anyway, I did work on one of these guides for this month for another site (I wrote two or three blurbs) and will post that link when it’s online.

So I think that gives me permission to get a little snarky with some things I’ve noticed in PREVIEWS this month. Here we go, starting from the front:

Nice that The History Channel has a special on “Comic Book Superheroes Unmasked”, I suppose, but wouldn’t it have been nice if they’d hired a working superhero artist to draw the character featured in the ad? Looks awful.

A blurb for J. Michael Straczynski’s and Gary Frank’s new SUPREME POWER book for Marvel claims that “readers will undoubtedly be impressed with its parallels to Mark Gruenwald’s SQUADRON SUPREME”. I don’t know, I guess I’m more impressed by something original? I’m not saying it won’t be good, or sufficiently different from the original, but there had to be a better way to write that copy.

Speaking of JMS, Augie De Blieck’s PIPELINE column linked to some Usenet postings regarding JMS holding off on giving Top Cow scripts until they settle a long-standing issue with him. I would assume it’s money owed, but that’s not important. What interested me is that JMS held himself out as a true professional who always meets his obligations. This seems to run counter to the delays in AMAZING SPIDER-MAN as well as the interesting news that “protégé’” (how long must this be attached to her?) Fiona Avery would be co-writing or scripting (the credits were vague) some upcoming issues of AMS, most likely to help JMS catch up. I’m not saying throw the guy in the pokey, but let’s be honest that he’s had his problems meeting his obligations to the letter, okay?

Are there any new titles in the Rocket Comics imprint from Dark Horse that look like they’ll catch on?

Speaking of Dark Horse, I’m really curious about their reprinting the old Roy Thomas/Barry (Windsor-) Smith CONAN stuff from Marvel, now called THE CHRONICLES OF CONAN and newly re-colored, with some corrected text. Listen, this sounds like a cool book, and I know this is good material, but knowing of the animosity between BWS and DH Publisher Mike Richardson, this leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Just be aware that with a fully authorized BWS reprint of YOUNG GODS & FRIENDS also coming, containing the last two, previously unseen chapters and some new material, you can get another BWS fix without fretting over the politics involved behind this book.

I’m happy to see Mike Baron is back writing comics, even if it’s only KISS. Hope this leads to bigger and better things, as I’ve always enjoyed his work. Hey, these don’t all have to be negative, right?

Image Comics has an annoyingly haphazard way of pricing their trade paperbacks. The trend with trades these days is to pack them with bonuses, with bonus stories, story pages and maybe scripts being the most desirable elements, followed by interviews, pin-ups, sketchbooks, etc. I was puzzled that the trade for HAWAIIAN DICK was a dollar more than the one for INVINCIBLE, despite being one issue shorter. Yeah, it’s eight pages longer, but since this isn’t story content, you’re basically paying for pin-ups and a lot of stuff you won’t care about after one glance. Both are good books, don’t get me wrong, but as a consumer you don’t like getting yanked around.

The RISING STARS: BRIGHT trade is also solicited with the euphemistic wording that it was “well-received.” No.

As much as I’d like to see Paul Dini and Darwyn Cooke (with David Bullock and J. Bone) together on a comic…WITCHBLADE ANIMATED? Asking a lot, but we’ll see.

The FANTASTIC FOUR solicitation shows that Howard (JLA) Porter is returning to comics, which is exciting...to Howard Porter. Can’t say the page of art looked bad, admittedly.

HULK solicitation uses the drawn-out “Let’s get ready to rumble”, which is actually copyrighted by announcer/originator Michael Buffer. Hope that’s not another lawsuit against Marvel!

NEGATION blatantly rips off H.R. Giger’s timeless design for the Alien from ALIENS. We’re not calling it an homage, are we?

SOLUS has an image that really stands out to me as one of George Perez’ worst, with a tiny perfect nose floating in a lifeless face, and with these kooky sigils in place of eyeballs. Yeesh.

And since I don’t want to end on a total sourpuss note, I did want to say that the last issue of DETECTIVE COMICS is very good, with Paul Bolles offering a taut, psychological thriller with no supervillains in sight, and a free prologue to the upcoming Rucka/Janson BATMAN: DEATH AND THE MAIDENS maxiseries, with some of the best Janson art I’ve seen in years. A friend wondered if that “How To Pencil” book Janson did for DC caused him to rethink his approach, and I’m inclined to agree, and applaud. Also, Miles Gunter and Mike Avon Oeming do one of the best non-Mignola (he helps on dialogue here and there) Hellboy stories with HELLBOY: THE SOUL OF VENICE. They both get the mood and the rhythm down pat. The climax wasn’t all it could be, but I still enjoyed the book a lot.

That oughta do it for this week. I think I’ll stop saying what I’m reviewing next week, as I never seem to stick to it all the way. But come back next week and be surprised.

Chris Allen

Want More BREAKDOWNS this week? Then click HERE for the ultimate TITLE BOUT/BREAKDOWNS team-up, as Chris Allen and A.K. discuss struggling comics publisher Fantagraphics and every title they publish. They could use your help!

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