By Terrence J. Brady
JULY 2004
G...A...H ! !
Don't know about you but whenever I read that line, I picture a cat hacking up a furball. Maybe its because I sometimes confuse CEREBUS with another infamous aardvark who plagued the airwaves for several seasons. (OK, so he's not "exactly" an aardvark but close enough). ALF though doesn't just cough up furballs but the entire carcass – considering his appetite for feline parmigiana. (Always wondered why my cat never wanted to watch that program).
Two months ago, this column reported on the end of CEREBUS and what lie in store for the Dave Sim file copies. On June 19th, Sim's autographed/ slabbed first issue went up on the auction block and commanded a selling price of ... whoaaa ... (hold onto your toupees boys!) $10,600!!
Gah me with a spoon!!
Despite this price, I have no desire to slam this auction. This is a piece of comic book history and will only increase in value. This issue, a file copy, certainly warrants protection and if the CGC slab is the way to go, so be it. But is this issue worth ten grand? (You know my answer already). However, I look at it like this. The proceeds of this auction went to ACTOR (a non-profit organization) so the recipient of this comic didn't spend ten grand on a comic but donated it to a worthy cause and in return received a piece of comic history.
Of course the first issue wasn't the only book up for sale. Issue 2 bilked some soul of $2550, issue 3 fetched $676.00 and issue 4 cost someone $910.00. These auctions did not go to any charitable cause and I would slam them but I'm starting to get one of those furballs myself. GAHHH!
NEW TEEN TITANS 2 - NM 9.6
Price: $148.49
Non-slab price: $10.00
Wolfman, Perez and the TITANS. Man, what a combo! They actually made me forget I wasn't reading a Marvel comic.
I'm what you might call, a "Fearless Front-Facer." Coined by writer Mark Evanier back in the 60s, this was one of those rankings the MMMS boasted in its heyday. One whose devotion to Marvel was above and beyond the call of duty. While I was aware of the Distinguished Competition (and others), Marvel was the company I maintained an allegiance with. Not saying Marvel was better than X, Y or Z -- just that this was the comic universe I grew up with and most familiar.
So here it is - early 80s. Got my Miller DD, my Simonson THOR, my Byrne FF & X-MEN. Life is good. Then in late '82, I pick up this Marvel/ DC x-over issue featuring the XM and the NEW TEEN TITANS. And just like that {BAM!} I was hooked. I immediately sought out all the back issues of the NTT. I knew nothing of the characters or the previous incarnation of this group but it didn't matter. To this day I have no idea why this Perez / Wolfman collaboration pulled me away from the Halls of Marveldom. However, it did allow me to explore non-Marvel comics for the first time, broadening my respect for the culture as a whole. (But I'm still not giving up my MMMS membership card).
As I recall, NTT #2 featured the first appearance of DEATHSTROKE - DC's answer to Marvel's PUNISHER. While the character didn't enjoy as much of the limelight as his Marvel counterpart, DEATHSTROKE (aka Slade Wilson) would eventually graduate from the TITAN line and star in his own short-lived series; running from August '91 to February '95. Since then, not a whole lot of activity for Mr. Wilson, so what's the big appeal of this book? You can pick up all the NTT issues for next to nothing and this second issue shouldn't sell for more than $10. Of course, slap some plastic on it and someone just got whacked for nearly $150. Too bad DEATHSTROKE isn't around much these days. If he was, someone just might hire him to put a hit on this seller. Hmmm, wonder if Slade does 2-for-1 specials? If so, we could knock off two birds with one stone by taking the buyer out of his misery as well. Thanks to Ronnie H. of Waterbury, CN for submitting this titanic issue.
CONAN #1 (Dark Horse) - Mint 10.0
Price: $203.76
Non-slab price: cover
Looking at this auction made me reflect on the first CONAN film (1982). You remember the scene when Ah-nuld the barbarian clocks that poor camel and the animal tumbles over? Yeah - that's pretty much how I felt after seeing this SECOND PRINTING issue (Feb 2004) sell for 200 smackeroos.
Bad sorcery we are witness to here my friends. Not even the great Crom can save this hapless buyer from ever regaining his misspent fortune.
Now that I think of it, the movie and auction have a lot in common. Recall all those "flower children cultists" who so innocently worship Thulsa Doom and his cronies? How they would leap from above on Doom's beckoning be it into a pit of a monstrous serpent or just a simple wooden floor - which shatters your spine on impact. Yes, we have many a follower in the land of CGC. They spring up from town to town just like the Snake Cult. A deceptive lot breaking the minds and wills of the easily swayed.
If only CONAN were here now might he free us from the serpent's grip. Alas, he is preoccupied with his own political agendas that deal not with such dastardly beings. No, he has a bigger furball to fry ... such as euthanizing stray kittens and puppies.
Yes, CONAN THE BARBARIAN is dead. Long live "Ah-nuld the Terminator." What's next on his agenda I know not but if I were a camel, I'd stay away from that right hook of his. Thanks to Nick Z. of Washington, DC for submitting this barbaric example of why the CGC eternalizes the Mountain of Power (and with some good steel it too will be razed).
WOLVERINE #3 (LTD) - NM/M 9.9
Price: $899.99
Non-slab price: $10 - $15
It appears our man Logan is becoming a regular around here. So why is he looking so glum you wonder?
You too would be feeling a bit hurt if you were featured in the "hall" on multiple occasions; believe this is his third appearance. While this auction doesn't have the sting we felt back in May 2003, this issue is certainly deserving of induction.
While I've mentioned in the past how good of a mini-series this was, I'm sure many will agree that such a book is not worthy of a $900 price tag.
Yes, $ 9-0-0.
This price reminds me of a car salesman who slaps a sticker price of $9999.98 on an automobile. Do they thinking they're fooling anybody? Never ten grand - no no, but hey that's what you're paying. Did this psych-economics work on this buyer - thinking he only paid "800 and change"?
Well, that's a lot more than $800 my friend and if you were smart, you could have picked up this comic for mere "pocket change." Thanks to Murphy A. of Muncie, IN for sending in.
Now for some good news -- though a handful of folks will not view it as such (more on that in a sec). Before we break out the fireworks for the Fourth, we celebrate the third annual Free Comic Book Day. FCBD is set for Saturday, July 3rd, in which participating comic book shops across North America (and the globe) give away comic books absolutely free to anyone who comes into their store. Its an excellent way to spread the word of comics, promote literacy and perhaps inspire the next generation of writers, artists, filmmakers, etc. I highly recommend you visit the official web site of Free Comic Book Day and be sure to spread the word!
So what about this minority of nay-sayers who wish to boycott this event? Yes, there are those who are dreading next weekend and are probably ringing their hands in disgust. We here at the CGC Hall of Shame intercepted a message between CGC operatives regarding an emergency session involving top CGC leaders and their cohorts. In order to find out further details of their malicious scheme, we have sent two trusted volunteers on a covert-op deep into the Mountain of Doom where this meeting was to take place. Unfortunately, we have lost contact with these men but not before we received a partial audio transmission from them. Below is a transcript of what they recorded in the Mount's War Room:
{inaudible}... gent ... {inaudible}... ies. Gentlemen and ladies, please take a seat.
...I demand to know the meaning of this assembly, Mr. {inaudible}... was to return to the Bahamas this weekend and purchase my second villa.
Another villa? Business must be good. No?
Business is booming! I took in five figures this week for copies I bought from Diamond the previous week at 40% off cover.
... a wonderful scam we are perpetrating.
SILENCE MAGGOTS! This meeting must come to order!
[commotion settles down]
I have news of cataclysmic consequences. News that may DESTROY our very way of life.
Bah! I read that CGC Hall of Shame page too.
No you fool! I refer to '"Free Comic Book Day." Thousands of comics will be issued for free throughout the world to the reading public.
[outburst]
...free do you say?
Yes, free! {inaudible} and soon people will come to realize that beyond the 10.0 covers, there is material inside -- READING material!
[several outbursts]
Read comics? {inaudible} ...are they insane??
...Tis madness!
...It will be our RUIN!!
...What shall we do???
[commotion settles]
We must counter this {inaudible} with an event of our own. Suggestions?
[dead silence and then]
What if we were to put ads in Wizard? State these free books will never be collector items? Perhaps no one will dare seek them out…
[several grumbles agreeing]
Bah! I have a better idea. We drop leaflets condemning this day. We will blanket the globe.
[another outburst]
Are you MAD?! People will then read the leaflets and this is something we at the CGC must NOT nurture. It would be counterproductive to everything we have set out to do.
[several grumbles agreeing]
Yes, yes. We cannot advocate people reading ... anything.
[silence again]
I know! We slab the leaflets and then drop them from the sky.
Wouldn't that then make them heavier? Cause them to crash to the Earth? {inaudible} ...it would injure millions.
I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks. But then, the survivors, we can gather up. Sell them copies of our slabbed leaflets. Charge them 10 times the amount of a non-slabbed leaflet.
[several grumbles agreeing]
You are diabolic indeed!
...all in a day's work.
[one dissatisfied voice]
Why does HE get the credit? This leaflet idea was MINE!
But {inaudible}... thought of slabbing them.
[mumblings and then sounds a of fist-fight ensue]
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
[commotion settles down]
It is agreed then. We shall counter this free comic book day with slabbed leaflets. Those taken alive will purchase our product for many times the normal price. I say {inaudible}... how many 10.0's will I get if I submit 1000 leaflets? I cannot live with 9.9 and 9.8's. I must have 10.0!
[several more grumblings of dissatisfaction]
{inaudible} ...know we cannot leak too many 10.0s on the market. It would ruin the very [long pause] ...who's that!?
[stirring - more commotion]
In the corner... LOOK!
[several shouts]
INFIDELS! SEIZE THEM!!
[several loud crashes and then ... silence]
...end of transmission...
UPDATE: Looks as if Ah-nuld the Terminator has had a change of heart on his stance against kitty and woofy. Now only if we could convince him to pick up his steel once again and rescue our two fallen comrades in the Mountain of Doom. A pipe dream I realize but there's always tomorrow.
OK (on a serious note), I'd like to dedicate this month's column to the memory of President Ronald Reagan. Whether you agree with his politics or not, he was a man of integrity who did his best with the tools that he had. The world needs more men like Reagan. Not necessarily the "politician" but the "man" who possesses high ideals. Ideals that will instill a positive outlook on future days ... future generations.
Time to wrap it up. Feeling a bit adventurous yourself? Why not participate and get your auction into the CGC Hall of Shame? Just follow these simple rules: (1) The comic must be Modern Age - 1980 to the present. No Gold or Silver books please. (2) The comic must be from an on-line auction house; like eBay. (3) The comic must be CGC graded and fetch a minimum winning bid of 10X Overstreet Guide. Include your first name and last initial with your city/state (or city/country). To better your chances, check the archives to be sure the book you're submitting hasn't already been featured.
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