Each week in GRAND DELUSIONS, we'll be taking a look at unsolicited letters that were sent
to various production companies, studios, and agents around Hollywood in the past few years. These are the ideas that slip
through the cracks of the development world. Flashes of cinematic genius that spark, only to fizzle, then fade away into
obscurity... Some are funny, some are scary, some are pitiful, some are incomprehensible - but they all share one quality:
they're REAL! Names and addresses have been removed in most cases to protect the innocent (and spare them the mockery
and ridicule... ). Join us now for a trip into the bizarre world of Hollywood wannabes!
We've got two new letters for you in this week's GRAND DELUSIONS. Our first comes from a heterosexual white man
who writes to the producers of the BATMAN movies and uses Sir Mix-A-Lot lyrics to support his theory that Rosie O'Donnell is fat because of her attitude, and not because she weighs 300 pounds. Or something like that...Also, notice the measurements he quotes: 26"-36"26". I don't know about you, but that sounds more like a bowling ball than a woman to me.
Our next letter comes from a writer who seems to think that prehistoric plants are the same as living humans, and that someone would actually want a diamond made out of the remains of Margaux Hemingway. Oh-someone should probably tell him that Margaux Hemingway already is dead and that she did commit suicide, so his hired killer would have a pretty easy job...
In next week's GRAND DELUSIONS, we'll bring you a letter to Steven Spielberg, written by the Lord Jesus Christ himself, and a "light comedy" about bringing Abraham Lincoln back to life to stop the second Civil War. Ah, you gotta love that wacky slavery humor, don't you?
If you have any weird, wacky, or bizarre letters for GRAND DELUSIONS, please contact Jason Pritchett at
jsnpritchett@moviepoopshoot.com.
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