Each week in GRAND DELUSIONS, we'll be taking a look at unsolicited letters that were sent to various production companies, studios, and agents around Hollywood in the past few years. These are the ideas that slip through the cracks of the development world. Flashes of cinematic genius that spark, only to fizzle, then fade away into obscurity...Some are funny, some are scary, some are pitiful, some are incomprehensible-but they all share one quality: they're REAL! Names and addresses have been removed in most cases to protect the innocent (and spare them the mockery and ridicule... ). Join us now for a trip into the bizarre world of Hollywood wannabes!
We've got three letters and a website in this week's GRAND DELUSIONS! The first two letters are from the same writer: a convicted murderer on death row at San Quentin Prison. Apparently, they have plenty of free time at San Quentin, because he's still sending out the exact same letter more than four years later. Note the date on the first one (June, 1997), and the postmark on the second (August, 2001). Plus, shouldn't he be, I don't know, DEAD by now? I'm still trying to figure out why the writer thinks that him being a convicted murderer is a GOOD selling point for his script...
The murderer/writer also generously included a letter from his attorney (thereby waiving any attorney/client privilege claims), which not only talked about the script, but also disclosed information about his appeal. I've blacked-out all of that information, but I still get a laugh out of the attorney's comments regarding rewrites on the script!
The final letter talks about a film that really needs no explanation: it's called CHICKS WITH STICKS. You see,
there are these chicks, and they have...sticks. And they do...stuff. Or something. The writers have come up with
a long list of taglines for it, but I think my favorite so far is "Women, Martial Arts, and a Hell
of an Attitude." You can check out a trailer for the proposed movie here ,
and see the original letter here: I get an e-mail from the writer once a month or so, promising me tickets to the premiere of the movie when it gets made. I'm not holding my breath for that to happen...
In next week's GRAND DELUSIONS, we'll see if a mariachi band can save Santa Claus, and if a "Voodoo Stalker" can kill a famous actress!
If you have any weird, wacky, or bizarre letters for GRAND DELUSIONS, please contact Jason Pritchett.
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