August 8, 2002
By Jason Pritchett
Each week in GRAND DELUSIONS, we'll be taking a look at unsolicited letters that were sent to various production companies, studios, and agents around Hollywood in the past few years. These are the ideas that slip through the cracks of the development world. Flashes of cinematic genius that spark, only to fizzle, then fade away into obscurity...Some are funny, some are scary, some are pitiful, some are incomprehensible-but they all share one quality: they're REAL! Names and addresses have been removed in most cases to protect the innocent (and spare them the mockery and ridicule... ). Join us now for a trip into the bizarre world of Hollywood wannabes!
We're back with two new letters in this week's column! The first comes to us from a writer who has actually had quite a bit of success on the production side of the film business. Perhaps she should stick to that side of things, if TURZILLA is the best that she should come up with. I do give her credit, though, for creating quite possibly the worst pun ever involving Row v. Wade. Just read it, and I think you'll agree.
I have to give our second writer some credit. There's something bizarrely fascinating about a script called SMASH BLOCKBUSTER. He needs some pointers on writing a query letter, though. After spending half a page telling us what the story is about, he then gives us the "log line"-which is almost word for word what he just told us.
On the second page, he graciously gives us some casting ideas for the film, as well. One question: does ANYONE think "Robert Wuhl" when they're casting a movie these days? I think ARLI$$ has ended whatever meager career he had to begin with.
One final note and request: since the Shoot Back boards are now gone, please e-mail me with any comments at the address listed below. Also, I'd love to hear any suggestions for what you'd like to see in future columns. More websites? More letters? More wannabe actors?
In next week's GRAND DELUSIONS, we enter THE JADE TRIANGLE!
If you have any weird, wacky, or bizarre letters for GRAND DELUSIONS, please contact Jason Pritchett at jsnpritchett@moviepoopshoot.com.
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