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Week of March 13, 2006 |
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You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.
Emilio's 17
Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...
This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'
I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!
Maybe this is all a bad dream too?
Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)
There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.
You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.
This band will go down like a lead balloon
Well, Goodbye there Children...
They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?
Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt
Panic on the streets of Austin
You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!
Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall
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01 |
THE BREAK-UP |
$39.17
$12759/av |
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02 |
X-MEN: THE LAST STAND |
$34.02
$9159/av |
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03 |
OVER THE HEDGE |
$20.65
$5170/avg |
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04 |
THE DAVINCI CODE |
$18.61
$4953/avg |
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05 |
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III |
$4.68
$1756/avg |
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06 |
POSEIDON |
$3.49
$1283/avg |
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07 |
RV |
$3.20
$1469/avg |
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08 |
SEE NO EVIL |
$2.04
$1607/avg |
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09 |
AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH |
$1.36
$17615/avg |
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10 |
JUST MY LUCK |
$855K
$892/avg |








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Live Rounds
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I saw about half of Christian Johnston's SEPTEMBER TAPES (First Look, 9.24) at last January's Sundance '04, and then the whole thing two or three weeks ago. I watched it again last weekend, this time on DVD. I felt seriously jazzed and agitated (in a good way) all three times.
SEPTEMBER TAPES isn't a chick or a date flick, but it has to be one of the most intense, duck-or-you'll-get-shot cinema verite films I've ever seen. You don't have to be any kind of war-movie nut to sense how fierce and unusual it is.
The shorthand phrase that keeps popping into my head (and a lot of people are using it, I guess) is BLAIR WITCH GOES TO AFGHANISTAN.
I don't know how much of it is staged and how much of it just happened (some of both, I'm gathering), but none of it feels staged. Story-wise it's entirely fictional but the reality of the actual filming in Kabul and the Afghanistan badlands blended into the planned-out part and created something else.
I mean, those are actual bullets being fired in the direction of the camera at one point. You can see them burst out of some guy's rifle and volley in our general direction. In this sense, SEPTEMBER TAPES out-guns BLACK HAWK DOWN, SAVING PRIVATE RYAN and all the others. The next time out Ridley Scott is going to have to tell his CGI guys, "Give me bullet-effect thing I saw in SEPTEMBER TAPES."
Johnston's film, which was co-written by himself and Christian Van Gregg, is about a filmmaker named Don Larson (George Calil, who also produced)
who's so torn up by the death of his girlfriend in
the 9.11 attacks that he goes to Afghanistan in '02 to try and find Osama bin Laden, or at
least find out why he hasn't been caught yet.
The costar is an Afghan-American named Wali Razaqi (also a TAPES producer). His character is a translator-guide called Wali Zarif, whom Larson hires to facilitate the expedition any which way.
The fictional set-up of THE SEPTEMBER TAPES begins with the claim that "eight tapes were found where the last known battle between Osama bin Laden
and rebel forces took place in the Taliban stronghold of Southern Afghanistan. These tapes reveal filmmaker Don Larson's travels to the war-torn
country of Afghanistan six months after 9/11 and follow him and a bounty hunter on the trailer of Osama bin Laden."
* * *
To continue with the rest of the column, simply click over to the
new site (www.hollywood-elsewhere.com). Oh, and while you're there?
Please bookmark it.
I don't know why this simple strategy of forcing (is that too
assertive a term?) regular Hollywood Elsewhere readers go to the new
site didn't hit me earlier, but it didn't. In any event, an
abbreviated Movie Poop Shoot version of the column will continue in
this space for many weeks to come. Eventually, sooner or later, this
policy will no longer be neccesary.
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Speculation that the New York Film Festival "snubbed" Wes
Anderson's The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou is untrue,
according to a spokesperson. The festival committee saw Aquatic
last June, in tandem with plans to open the sea-faring comedy-drama in
October or thereabouts. And while "they liked it and wanted it," a
decision was later made for Touchstone to open Aquatic in
December, and the notion of a NYFF debut didn't seem quite as
desirable. |
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Aquatic's opening is set for 12.10 in New York and
Los Angeles, and 12.24 wide. I would normally be scratching
my head over the title expansion (i.e., adding with Steve
Zissou), as this sort of thing usually indicates indecision
and therefore trouble on some level. But here the addition
sounds droll and all of a piece, as with all things Anderson.
I also imagine that Anderson, like any director from Spielberg
on down, welcomed the extra time to tweak and fine-tune. |
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A suggestion that may not save the James Bond franchise, but will at
least halt its downhill slide: arrange for producers Michael Wilson and
Barbara Broccoli to be gently but firmly kidnapped and then taken to an
undislcosed
location (somewhere in Southeast Asia would be best), where they will be
kept in two lavish homes under house arrest, with allowances for family
visitations. Once this is done, all serious interest in Eric Bana playing
the new 007 will cease
and Wilson and Broccoli's successors can look at other options.
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One of these options should, of course, be to shut the series down.
Just because the Bond movies continue to make money doesn't mean they're
dead inside, and that one of most compassionate acts anyone could do would
be to fire a bullet into the skull of this outdated, cliche-ridden franchise
and walk away proud....like Pierce Brosnan has done. Bana is said to be
unsure about stepping into the 007 series, according to London's Evening
Standard. The tabloid says an offer has gone out to him but that Bana
is "currently deciding whether it's something he really wants to sign up
[for]." Translation: he's heard the Wilson-Broccoli stories. Eric Bana
would be to the 007 tradition as Lex Barker was to the Tarzan series in the
1950s.
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A suggestion that may not save the James Bond franchise, but will at
least halt its downhill slide: arrange for producers Michael Wilson and
Barbara Broccoli to be gently but firmly kidnapped and then taken to an
undislcosed
location (somewhere in Southeast Asia would be best), where they will be
kept in two lavish homes under house arrest, with allowances for family
visitations. Once this is done, all serious interest in Eric Bana playing
the new 007 will cease
and Wilson and Broccoli's successors can look at other options.
|
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One of these options should, of course, be to shut the series down.
Just because the Bond movies continue to make money doesn't mean they're
dead inside, and that one of most compassionate acts anyone could do would
be to fire a bullet into the skull of this outdated, cliche-ridden franchise
and walk away proud....like Pierce Brosnan has done. Bana is said to be
unsure about stepping into the 007 series, according to London's Evening
Standard. The tabloid says an offer has gone out to him but that Bana
is "currently deciding whether it's something he really wants to sign up
[for]." Translation: he's heard the Wilson-Broccoli stories. Eric Bana
would be to the 007 tradition as Lex Barker was to the Tarzan series in the
1950s.
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Hold up on that rumble about the conniving heavyweight behind
Ted Griffin's firing off the Graduate-sequel flick not being
Jennifer Aniston, but costar Kevin Costner. The Fly on theWall guy
claimed in an 8.16 posting, using quotes from an anonymous crew
member, that Griffin's dismissal "was totally Kevin's fault, not
Jennifer's."
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But now another guy who was right in the thick of the
situation says this account is "completely false," due to the fact
that "Costner hadn't started working" on the film at the time
Griffin's dismissal went down. Hey, I'm just passing this along.
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The Entertainment Weekly cover (#779-780) asks if Johnny
Depp's performance as J.M. Barrie in Finding Neverland (Miramax,
10.22) will deliver a Best Actor Oscar...and in so doing indicates an
obvious rooting interest on the part of EW staffers (film critics
Owen Gleiberman and/or Liza Schwarzbaum, it's safe
to presume) in at least helping Depp land a nomination. In the face of such
a boldly-put suggestion, I think it's fair to
offer a counter-opinion, which is that Depp's acting in this tenderly
composed biopic may be too exacting for its own
good.
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In other words, Depp seems to really "get" the eccentric Scottish
playwright who wrote Peter Pan
, who, according to the press notes, was said to have a quiet, puckish
personality and always spoke in a low burr.
And that's Depp in the film. The problem is that his Barrie seems so
internal, so into his own quiet determinations and
oddball kindnesses, that you feel a strange urge to strangle him after a
while. Plus there's something too actorly about
his Scottish accent; it sounds at once uncertain and overly studied. In
short, Depp did everything right...and in so doing
created a character and a vibe that feels curiously wrong.
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You like a filmmaker, you find him/her intriguing, you try to
show interest and support and....test pattern. I became curious
about Abel Ferrara's supposed next film, Mary, in which
Vincent Gallo will play an actor playing Jesus Christ in a
film-within-the-film. (This, at least, is what the Brown
Bunny star-director-producer told me last week.) The focus of
Mary, says Gallo, is the actress who plays the mother of
Christ, and who experiences a kind of spiritual satori as a
result of immersing herself in the part. The film, Gallo adds, is
supposed to shoot in Rome in late September or early October.
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But of course, there can be no contact whatsoever with
Ferrara. The guy almost never calls back anyone, I've heard. It's
always, "I'll call you." An e-mail to Ferrara's Rome-based producer
resulted in zip. Ferrara's New York attorney, Jay Julien, professed
a general ignorance about Mary, and couldn't direct me to
anyone with a history of replying to phone calls who might. I've
learned that whenever it's this much trouble to get hold of someone,
it's usually not worth the effort in the first place.
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Sofia Coppola is set to direct a period costume drama about Marie
Antoinette and husband King Louis XVI for Columbia. Wigs and hoop gowns, the
French revolution, let 'em eat cake, the guillotine...all that good stuff.
This is a joke, right? The reasonably talented Sofia hasn't shown a glimmer
of the kind of commanding, exacting vision that the lensing of any
historical drama of this sort would require. I mean, presuming Columbia
wants something at least half as good, say, as Barry Lyndon, which
they probably couldn't care less about.
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But I am looking forward to watching Kirsten Dunst, who will play
Antoinette, get her head cut off. And you have to admire the sense of humor
that Coppola and her casting director have shown in choosing Jason
Schwartzman ("Max" in Rushmore) to play her husband Louis. If they
stick to history, he'll also lose his head. Valor, Max...valor! You won't
feel a thing. A tickling sensation, your head falls in the basket,
everything turns numb, and then blackness. You can do that standing on your
head. Oops..sorry.
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Regarding the recent death of King Kong star Fay Wray,
Move City News' David Poland wrote that Peter Jackson, director of an
all-new King Kong flick, "wanted Ms. Wray to close his film with the
'Twas Beauty That Killed The Beast' line, but, ever the lady, Ms.
Wray was unwilling (though attempts at persuasion continued) because
she felt it would be arrogant to call the character she played -- and
thus, herself -- a beauty."
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Apart from the utterly nonsensical thinking conveyed in
Wray's alleged view, the item is another worrisome indicator that
Jackson's King Kong is going to be way too Jackson-y. (Which
is to say movie-mucky to the point of suffocation.) Can you
imagine a line as important as that one -- the big closer! -- given
to a 96 year-old woman as an affectionate gesture, however heartfelt
on Jackson's part? Art is art and emotions are emotions, and never
the twain shall meet. If Jackson is handing out cameo kicker lines
as tokens of respect to grand old ladies, forget it....it's over.
John Ford once told Nunnally Johnson that to be a good director you
have to be a bit of a bastard. This, conversely speaking, may be
Jackson's problem. He's too mushy, too much of a sweetheart.
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This is old news now, but those people who described
Collateral's box-office performance last weekend as "so-so" or
" middling" or whatever were being a tad dismissive. Unfair,
really. A movie as dark as this one, with a gray-haired Tom Cruise
playing a cold-hearted assassin, is doing great by taking in
$24 million during its first weekend. Only three other Cruise films
-- Minority Report and the two Mission Impossible's --
have had better openers.
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And Exhibitor Relations' Paul Dergarabedian must have been
smokin' some strong stuff before telling the New York
Times' Sharon Waxman that Collateral "is not a movie that
can be supported by teenagers." He's saying...what? That teenagers
can't deal with urban thrillers about cops and hit men and what-all?
That beautifully rendered mood and ace dialogue don't impress them?
I should add there was a different reaction to the film when I saw
it with a paying crowd last weekend. They didn't applaud, but the
two industry crowds I saw it with earlier did. Hmmmm.
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Ben Affleck was his usual glib self during his
hanging-out-in-Boston segment with Katie Couric a couple of days
ago...same-old, same-old...but something different happened when he did a
chat
thing with Hardball's Chris Matthews on Tuesday afternoon. He was
focused, sharp, and quick, and had some very cogent things to say about
Kerry-vs.-Bush, voter sentiments and the general lay of the land.
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In other words, he did himself a huge favor. For the first time
in a very long time Affleck was suddenly about something besides
Bennifer, chasing girls, iffy movies and gambling sprees. He said he
might want to jump into politics down the road, since the movie career thing
has its limits in terms of feeling fulfilled or spiritually nourished. He
also told Matthews he'd like to have his job, and Matthews said in
response, "I do fear you."
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