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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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GAME ON!

By Ian Bonds

October 7th, 2005

Sheesh. You go from one week of not having enough games to review, to another full of almost TOO MANY games, which is always the warning sign that the holidays are approaching and the mad rush of gaming goodness (and badness) is on its way to store shelves near you. No matter what your taste, there’s sure to be something out there for you. Let’s see what’s on the menu this week.

DEAD BY DAWN REDUX

After two attempts, the makers of the EVIL DEAD games, based on the films, still hadn’t quite gotten the hang of recreating the look, feel and fun of the flicks. With their third attempt, EVIL DEAD: REGENERATION for Xbox and PS2, they hit a little closer to the mark, but it still ends up falling short.

Serving as a pseudo-sequel to EVIL DEAD 2 (a sort of “What If Ash didn’t get transported backwards through time” scenario), we find our reluctant hero committed to an insane asylum. Luckily, it doesn’t take long for shit to go wrong, and the deadites roam again, thanks to a psychiatrist who longs to unlock the power of the Necronomicon. After already reviving on past dead patient and keeping the evil out of this “evil dead”, the not-so-good Doctor tries more, but, of course, gets more than he bargains for. It’s up to Ash and this un-evil deadite dwarf named Sam (voiced by Ted Raimi) to combat the evil and stop the Doc’s nefarious plans.

The majority of the game has you (as Ash) using the one-two punch combo of shotgun and chainsaw, and dispatching deadites with force and charm, even adding a random “finishing move” when their health is low. There are other weapons available later on,
such as a harpoon gun and a flamethrower, but you’ll usually go with the classic set-up. Ash can also kick Sam around as a weapon. He can either boot him to attack the other baddies, or punt him into things to trigger events, such as making a boiler explode. There’s also the option in certain cases to posses Sam, since he’s so short and can get places where Ash can not.

However, when it comes right down to it, this is all pretty much just a repetitive beat ‘em up, with some rather annoying fetch quests thrown in the mix. Sure, the graphics look decent and the dialogue is great (Bruce Campbell works best when he has someone to work off of, and Ted serves his purpose well) but the action can get monotonous at times. Still, as far as the series goes, it’s the best they’ve done with the license yet.

For $20, it’s a passable time waster that’s a nice diversion and offers up a few chuckles and some fun for fans of the films. There’s action, but after a while, it’s the same action over and over, and the fetch quests (egg hunts? Are you serious?) can be tiresome. For anyone else, though, this one is dead on arrival.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

END OF THE ROAD

For PC adventure fans, the starting point for all their point-and-click dreams was MYST, an adventure like no other that took you through worlds never before thought possible. Ironic, then, that my first official PC game review begins with the end of that series. MYST V: END OF AGES is the best in the series, and thankfully folks who’ve missed the first four parts needn’t play them to enjoy this stellar title.

Following the series standard of point-and-click style, you traverse different realms on the quest to discover what happened to the D’ni, and how you can bring about the return of this lost civilization. The game actually features some startlingly realistic character models, who occasionally pop up to reveal bits of the story as your trek through the various ages of the world of Myst.

Story is the one constant that has carried the series, but the visuals are another thing that sets these games apart from their point-and-click brethren. Lush environments, sparkling
skylines, and fully detailed and realized worlds fill the scope of human imagination. This game is truly gorgeous, and even the simplest of surrounds bring awe. Unique environments showcase how far the series has come, and how far you have to go to reach your ultimate goal in the game.

The interface for the control is even more user-friendly than ever. Simple controls from pointing to one area and clicking to move can also be adjusted to have the camera locked onto the cursor, where you can just look around freely and move from there. There’s also the inclusion of interactive tablets throughout the worlds, which can be “written” upon to perform specific actions.

With a game like this, it’s hard to describe the experience of playing it. The wonder, the journey, it’s all something magnificent to behold. And while this may sound like lip service, this game truly is wonderful. I’m either so struck by it that I cannot fully describe how fun and fantastic it is, or I’m just not as good a writer as I thought I was (which is to say, I never thought I was anyway, but that’s neither here nor there). For fans of the series, it’s a fitting end. For newcomers, it’s a wonderful adventure that only makes you yearn for another like it.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

FULFILLING PROPHECY

The claim of video games being “interactive movies” has been made for about ten years now, with the usage of full motion video, Hollywood voice talent and more. However, the end results usually don’t quite justify the claim. Not so with INDIGO PROPHECY, out now for PS2 and Xbox. Here you’ll truly experience a fully realized film world, broken up momentarily with elements of video game action.

The game follows four main characters. It begins with Lucas Kane, a man who awakens from a trance at the beginning of the game, only to find he’s just murdered a man. From here, you try to unravel the mystery behind his trance as Lucas, as well as try to catch the killer, as two detectives, Carla and Tyler. There’s also Lucas’ priest brother, Markus, who helps out his brother as best he can in this troubled time.

The action of the game is sort of a suped-up point-and-click style of play. You maneuver your character around the environments, and interact with context-sensitive items with the flick of the right analog stick in the appropriate direction (different direction for different items if there’s more than one at a location). The story and pacing of the plot is really what sells this game. Everything plays out like a film, so much so that you may forget when to move your character around. This is all accomplished through the game’s fantastic voice work and character designs. The graphics here are detailed and realistic, using some really impressive motion capture on the faces and bodies (though certain spots things tend to look a little odd…like when Tyler smiles).

Often, while you’re maneuvering your character through one environment, the screen splits off to show another, “24” style, with action or characters approaching your own, such as the opening scene in the diner. As you clean up the mess of the murder, the
screen splits off and shows the cop at the front of the diner, telling you that you don’t have much time to waste. It’s a cool element that only adds to the entire movie style they’re trying to create, and it works. Tense moments become tenser as you see conflicts approaching, or even other perspectives on character’s reactions.

The film atmosphere is occasionally broken up by some interesting gameplay moments, most using some twitch button presses or timed “Simon”-like memory games to accomplish feats of acrobatic display, or just to utilize special powers to foresee the future. At times it’s a bit distracting, but the action of the “film” moves on behind the colored icons on screen, prompting you with way to press son your two analog sticks to influence your character’s actions.

My only main complaint is that the control can often be TOO distracting from the whole “playing a movie” feel. Controlling your character to walk doesn’t utilize both analog sticks, and sometimes the twitch button L & R tapping doesn’t seem to register with the game, despite filling up the meter with mad button mashing. Still, as a whole, it’s greater than the sum of its parts. The gameplay mixed with the compelling story and characters make this an adventure that truly feels like a film. The ending could use some work, and the control has a few issues, but this is the first argument for “interactive movie” that I’ll agree with. It’s not perfect, but it’s damn close.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

QUICKSHOT OF THE WEEK

I have to say that it’s both a thrill and a bit disturbing to find that THE SUFFERING: TIES THAT BIND for Xbox and PS2 takes place in my home town of Baltimore. Sure, it’s cool to finally have Charm City featured in a game that doesn’t involve sports, but considering what it does involve, I’m not so sure I dig the locale for the game. I honestly never thought we had a prison system like the one in this title, let alone all the scary mutants and demons running around. Luckily, Torque, the hero from the last game, is back to blast them all back to Hell. The game plays pretty much the same as the last, but with a bit of an improved controller set-up. Transforming to your beast-creature is
more intuitive and features more attacks, and switching weapons is much simpler and user friendly. The gameplay remains the same, however. Run around a decaying environment and destroy everything creepy in your way. Hollywood voice talent (including Michael Clarke Duncan) move the story along as you get to the grit in my fair city. There’re even three different openings, depending the saved game from how you beat the previous title. All in all, it may be more of the same horror, but that’s not a bad thing at all. The bad thing is explaining to the city commission what the fuck is going on.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

More to come next week, friends. Be sure to check out this week’s bonus column on the most recent Marvel Comics-based games. Until next time…

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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