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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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By Alison Veneto

February 3, 2005

The Coolest Modern French Films
From the country who produced Goddard, Truffaut, Renoir and so many more, I am going to talk about a scantily clad assassin woman, a scantily clad Native American assassin man and mechanical-obsessed people with honestly cool production design. Yup. I'm going to do that. For my first column on French cinema, I've turned to their coolest offerings. These are pretty popular films and chances are you have heard of them, if not seen them. But I want to remind you how good they are and intice you to see these classics if you haven't.

City of Lost Children (1995)
One (Ron Perlman, speaking French, a language he doesn't know) is a strongman, but when his manager is killed and his younger brother taken, he sets out to find his brother. He takes up with some street kids, particularly an outgoing girl named Miette (Judith Vittet) who eventually help him. His brother, and many other children, have been taken by Krank (Daniel Emilfork) in order to steal their dreams. This unfortunately, this kills the kiddies and isn't helping Krank one bit. Krank also has to deal with a dysfunctional family and a condescending floating brain.

The story and characters are decidedly offbeat, which can be hard to get into at times. But there are some interesting side plots and characters such as the cloned brothers (all played by Dominique Pinon) constantly bickering over who is the original. One is like a child and Krank is your everyday mad scientist. But you feel bad for him even as a bad guy which adds some complexity to the tale. And you spend a lot of time wondering what it up with these characters but by the end have gotten a satisfactory amount of backstory.

The star of this film is of course the look of the film. The production design, costumes and cinematography conspire together to show up even the best story. This story is a perverted fair tale with Jeunet appearing like the French equivalent of Tim Burton or Terry Gilliam. And of course it looks great when you have a cinematographer like Darius Khondji and costume design by Jean-Paul Gaultier. The effects are by France's most well known effects man Pitof (also famous as the director of CATWOMAN). The music is by Lynch's man Angelo Badalamenti.

The dreamworld created here is all encompassing. Every corner of the frame is meticulously designed -- Bright colors against drabness, an overarching yellow glow. This is a standard Jeunet has held for all his films, creating memorable and original visuals. You can't blame Jeunet and Caro for getting so wrapped up in their technical achievement to forget to make the story make more sense or be slightly more interesting. It's not bad though, it's tone is rather consistent as a grotesque fairy tale with circus-like allusions. If you're into the offbeat you'll probably adore the plot. But it's not what you'll be talking about afterwards -- the visuals are what are really worth the price of admission.

Jeunet's other films: AMELIE, A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT, ALIEN RESURRECTION

Le Femme Nikita (1990)
After a decade of Schwartzenegger and Stallone hi octane testosterone-fests, Besson brings us Nikita. A little waif of a girl, who would probably fare just fine against these action giants. This is one of the last great pre-CG action movies. And it has something that CG movies hardly ever have, a real human drama.

It's originial French title is simply NIKITA. "Le Femme" was added for American release which means simply "the woman Nikita". Nikita is much like a primitive animal at the beginning of the film -- wild and out of control. She is sentenced to 30 years in prison for killing some police officers but is instead recruited into a secret government assassin training program. While in training she develops a somewhat unhealthy relationship with her instructor, Bob. It becomes a complicated love triangle when she gets out of training and meets, probably for the first time in her life, a nice normal guy -- causing her to yearn (yes, seemingly for the first time in her life) for a nice normal life. But the every time she slips into normalcy, Bob or a "job" shows up.

If you know at least a couple French actors, you'll probably recognize some here. Anne Parillaud, Jean Reno, Jeanne Moreau, Jean-Hugues Anglade and Tcheky Karyo have all appeared in American films. And it's a credit to Besson for getting restrained performances from his actors who easily could have gone over-the-top in a film like this. Parillaud is both enchanting and ferocious. And Karyo gives easily the best performance I've seen him do. And the smaller roles played by the big stars Moreau and Reno are great additions to the film.

It's bold colors and intense action encourage me to use a phrase I hate in reviews which is it's "like a comic book" onscreen. Even the dialogue scenes are thrilling and pack a punch. The action is exhilirating and inventive. Although Besson skates the edge sometimes, he always keeps the story in the film believable. The film is very stylistic and often imitated. Every mission Nikita goes on will get your adrenaline pumping.

In the end though, this film is about a rebirth -- a rehabilatation. Nikita learns to exploit her femininity instead of simply acting masculinely. The reason the film is so good is because it satisfies on so many levels. It succeeds as an action film and a drama even with a couple decent comedic moments thrown in for good measure.

This film is so good it spawned a host of imitators. There is the American remake, POINT OF NO RETURN (1993) which is a bit of a dissapointment. They actually made it less violent than the French movie (when has an American movie ever been less violent then a French movie?). Anyway, this film is practically a scene for scene remake with some good actors in the lesser roles -- Harvey Keitel, Anne Bancroft but some mediocre ones in the major ones -- Bridget Fonda, Gabriel Byrne and Dermot Mulroney. There was also a Hong Kong remake called BLACK CAT(1991) which is pretty awful. But not awful enough evidently because then came BLACK CAT II (1992). And we also have the classic TV spinoff "Le Femme Nikita" from 1997-2001.

Besson's other films: THE FIFTH ELEMENT, LEON/THE PROFESSIONAL, THE MESSENGER

Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)
This film is about the overly serious antics of French aristocrats. Which is boring. But add a murderous mystery monster, some cultish mysticism and some ass-kicking and all of a sudden it's a movie you want to see.

In a more rural part of France, a lupine monster is killing the people. Gregoire de Fronsac (Samuel Le Bihan of RED and HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT) and his American Indian manservant Mani (Mark Dacascos of ONLY THE STRONG, CRYING FREEMAN and CRADLE 2 THE GRAVE) have come to investigate. They encounter some 18th century red tape with the local aristocrats but continue their search which of course goes deeper and darker than they expected. Gregoire begins a relationship with the young and pure Marianne (Emilie Dequenne of ROSETTA) much to the dislike of her brother Jean-Francois de Morangias (Vincent Cassel of ELIZABETH, SHREK and L'APPARTEMENT). Meanwhile Gregoire and Mani encounter a "witch" and a gypsy respectively and of course don't know who to trust.

This was the highest grossing movie in France at the time. It is also based on a "true" legend of a monster that terrorized rural France. Gans has come a long way from CRYING FREEMAN which plays like a made for TV movie (particularly one for the USA Network). The action in this film may employ the necessary slow motion and such techniques but is heart pumpingly choreographed and performed. The mystery is not the greatest you've ever witnessed on screen but is enough to keep you watching. The film's mix of action, court drama, mystery, monster and more helps to move it along and keep it interesting. But on the contrary, it's melodramatic genre-meshing and overall 'Frenchness' might be too much for some people. In my experience it's been sort of a love it or hate it film.

One reason it's easy for me to like this movie, is that I really like some of the people involved. I have a giant softspot for films starring Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel. She's the Italian beauty who works mostly in the French movie industry but has recently made inlets in Hollywood with her appearances in THE MATRIX sequels. Cassel is one of France's most talented actors, often playing or free-spirited characters in my experience but certainly not exclusively. He's recently been seen on the Hollywood scene as the bad guy in OCEAN'S TWELVE. They are married in real life (although always rumored to be breaking up) and have starred in many movies together.

But despite semi-naked Monica Bellucci, which is a hard thing to best, the star of the show here is Mark Dacascos. He's very talented and I just wish he'd get better roles! I've been a fan of his ability since ONLY THE STRONG also known as "that capoeira movie". Mark's final finishing move in that movie was the coolest thing I had ever seen and I positively wrecked myself trying to do it in the basement of my house. He's studied a number of martial arts forms, but it takes more than that, in my opinion, to be a good martial artist in film. You need a style that is cinematic and interesting to watch. Bruce Lee developed a style of "movie kung fu" for this purpose. And that's why I like Zhang Ziyi's style because of her ballet influence, it's like watching dance. Dacascos also has an amazing movie style. It has the flow and dance influences of capoeira, but without loosing the rigidity of harder martial arts styles. In this movie, he wears simply his Native American loincloth and gets to also show off his amazing body. But even while being distracted by how fine he looks, his martial arts are just a joy to watch. I'm surprised this movie didn't get him more recognition and better roles. I fear he never will as he is now in his forties. He is still working with Gans though, and hopefully we can see him superior ability in another good movie sometime in the near future.

So needless to say, his tomahawk action near the end of the film is what you will probably go home talking about -- that and often whether the CG for the Beast was good or laughable. Even most fans admit that the film runs a little long (it has a 2 hour 20 min. running time) but I certainly stand behind it and think it's a great watch.

Gan's other films: CRYING FREEMAN, NECRONOMICON

IN TWO WEEKS: I scratch the surface of Bollywood, taking a look at their newest crossover effort BRIDE AND PREJUDICE and looking at their biggest and best offerings of the past few years.

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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