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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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DVD LATE SHOW

By Christopher Mills

March 15, 2005

Welcome to the DVD Late Show.

This is where we take a look at the more unusual flicks that can be found on those shiny silver discs we all love, particularly those best watched late at night, after the more conservative (sane) movie viewers are long in bed. Movies (and the rare TV show) that are often actually improved by a little sleep deprivation. We're talking trash cinema here, boys and girls, and I'm not going to hedge. Call 'em B-movies, cult flicks, or sleaze cinema – I love this stuff.

If the budget's low and the story formulaic, the actors unconvincing and the effects ineffective, the gore plentiful and bare breasts abundant… there's room for it here at the Late Show. If there's a guy in a rubber monster suit, psycho with a power tool, sparkler-propelled rocket ship on visible wires or a stop-motion mugwump, well, brother, I'm in heaven – especially if it includes some of those aforementioned bare breasts!

This column will celebrate the odd, the offbeat, the old, the new, the undeniably cheesy. It's no challenge to criticize or make fun of bad movies. They're easy targets. But finding the entertainment value in those bad movies… well, that is a challenge – sort of like panning for gold in a river of toxic waste.

Well, maybe not quite that bad. But if you look hard and long enough, you can sometimes find gold, and that's what makes these movies so much fun.

Let D.K. Holm handle the Criterions and the art films and the big-studio releases. Here at the Late Show you'll find the bizarre, the tastefully questionable, and the inexplicably oddball. We've got horror, fantasy and science fiction, sexploitation, blaxploitation and every other sort of exploitation. We've got hardcore martial arts action, giant monsters and trash flicks in every other genre (and from every country) you can imagine.

Let's kick this column off right, shall we, with the Mondo Macabro U.S. release of ALUCARDA (1975), a Mexican horror film by director Juan López Moctezuma. I'm not well-versed in South-of-the-border genre efforts (beyond a Santo film or two), so I wasn't at all sure what to expect. Turns out it's a pretty cool movie.

When a young woman named Justine (Susana Kamini) is brought to a convent orphanage after her parents death, she meets her new roommate, the dark-haired beauty Alucarda (Tina Romero). Alucarda will remind you of that Goth chick you went to school with – the oddly attractive one with the pale skin, black clothes and morbid personality… who just might have been the daughter of the Prince of Darkness. You remember.

Anyway, before long, the girls develop an unnaturally – in fact, supernaturally – strong bond, and after a meeting with gypsies, make a blood pact with Satan. Needless to say, things get a little nuts from there.

Full of haunting, disturbing imagery, with nods to horror classics from Stoker to DeSade, ALUCARDA is a mind-trip of the first order.

Mondo Macbro's DVD is a fine, full-frame transfer (which is probably the original aspect ratio). The print shows some age-related wear and tear, but for a 30-year-old Mexican exploitation flick, it's more than acceptable. There's a clear stereo English language dub and a mono Spanish audio track. Unfortunately, there are no subtitles, so I had to watch the English version. The sound is clear, though, with no noticeable deterioration – you'll hear every scream (and there's a lot of screaming in this flick) clear as a bell.

Along with the quality transfer, the MM folks have included a wide variety of extra features, including a great, informative documentary about ALUCARDA's director, Juan Moctezuma, a text interview with Moctezuma from 1977, the original ALUCARDA theatrical trailer and a still gallery. A particularly nice feature is a brief video interview with HELLBOY director Guillermo del Toro who speaks about Mexican horror cinema and Moctezuma's impact on both the genre and on del Toro's own efforts as a genre director.

From the other side of the world – Pakistan, to be precise – comes another Mondo Macabro release, THE LIVING CORPSE (aka ZINDA LAASH, 1967). Corpse is another in the endless line of adaptations of Bram Stoker's DRACULA, albeit with some distinctively South Asian twists.

Obviously inspired primarily by Hammer Film's version of the legend, THE LIVING CORPSE repeatedly echoes shots and scenes from the 1958 Terrence Fisher/Christopher Lee film. But while it uses the Hammer film as a template, it deviates from it in some important respects.

For one thing, there wasn't any singing and dancing in Terrance Fisher's film. According to the audio commentary, musical numbers are a required element of Pakistani and Indian cinema. In THE LIVING CORPSE, these musical numbers pop up at the most unusual times, adding to the surreality of the experience. I almost did a Diet Pepsi spit-take when the vampire chick started go-go dancing. For another, the setting of the film is contemporary, set very clearly in mid-Sixties Pakistan rather than Transylvania.

The plot follows earlier versions of the story very faithfully – only the names and the vampire's origin are different. In this case, the vampire is Professot Tabani (Rehan), a scientist attempting to acquire eternal life through chemistry. The black and white photography is quite atmospheric; at it's best evoking the classic Thirties horror films from Universal. The strict censorship of the time forces the film to resemble those Golden Age horrors in another way: blood is at a minimum, and much of the horror is suggested, rather than shown.

Until just a couple years ago, this film was considered lost. Very few reference sources even acknowledged its existence. But Pakistani film historian Omar Khan remembered it, and set out to track it down, eventually discovering the original negative in a dusty film vault. Mondo Macabro's disc is culled from that original negative, and the result is astounding. While there's some print damage here and there, the majority of the movie looks great – with sharp, crystal clear images and perfect contrasts.

The disc includes several fantastic extras, the best being a riveting episode of the British MONDO MACABRO television show covering the genre films of India and Pakistan and a documentary on the making of THE LIVING CORPSE, including interviews with the star, Habib, and director Khwaja Sarfaraz, among others. The TV episode is a mind-blower with so many delicious clips from Bollywood fright flicks and action movies that it started this cult movie fan drooling. Also included are an informative audio commentary by film experts Pete Tombs and Omar Khan, a theatrical trailer, a text feature on the film's rediscovery, a "lost" song sequence (audio only), and a nicely edited preview of other Mondo Macabro releases.

MM's THE LIVING CORPSE is an excellent presentation of a rare and fascinating horror film, one that is sure to please fans of vampire and Gothic cinema.

And, speaking of vampires and Gothic horror, MPI Home Video sent me the latest release of the DARK SHADOWS TV series…Volume 17! The set contains 40 half-hour episodes from the cult daytime soap opera about the cursed Collins family of Collinsport, Maine. The picture and sound quality is what one might expect from a thirty-five year-old soap, with blurry, soft video imaging and uneven audio levels.

But the show, with its unique mix of Gothic horror and standard soap opera tropes, is a surprisingly addictive diversion. I've never seen but a few random episodes of the show in my life, but when I put this disc in to review, my wife and I found ourselves watching a half-dozen episodes in a row (and have been watching an episode or two every day since).

These episodes are from the Fall and Winter of 1969, and incorporate such fantasy elements as time-travel (both physical and astral), mind transference, lycanthropy, ghosts and reincarnation. And then there's Barnabas (Jonathan Frid), of course, the melancholy vampire that drove a stake through the hearts of America's housewives for several years in the late Sixties. The four-disc set also includes interviews with actor David Selby (Quentin Collins – the heartthrob werewolf) and various crew members. I wouldn't necessarily recommend starting with this set, but it has made me contemplate going back and picking up the earlier volumes.

Now, what about those bare breasts I mentioned back at the beginning of this column? Glad you asked.

EI Independent Cinema has made its reputation with a slew of softcore lesbian exploitation videos, usually featuring vampires or spoofing mainstream theatrical releases. The Johnny Crash-directed SPIDERBABE (2004) is one of the latter, a Mad Magazine-styled parody of Sam Raimi's first SPIDER-MAN feature, but with a gender twist and tons of gratuitous nudity and simulated sex.

This feature-length parody, released under EI's Seduction Cinema label, stars EI starlet Misty Mundae as Patricia Porker, high school science nerd-turned horny super-heroine. The cast is rounded out (pun intended) with most of the studio's stable of silicone-enhanced sirens: Julian Wells, Darian Caine, and Kelli Summers, among others. There are some guys in there, too, but who cares, really? The story follows that of the movie it's spoofing faithfully, and some of the jokes are pretty funny. It does get a little tedious as it goes on, however.

The two-disc Special Edition includes both R-and-Unrated cuts of the movie, interviews with the stars, a music video, outtakes and a still gallery. There are also deleted sex scenes, several behind-the-scenes featurettes, and trailers for dozens of other Seduction Cinema releases.

Mundae possesses a genuine charisma, and it's no wonder that she's become the company's biggest star (ironically, she's probably the EI starlet with the smallest… ah, endowments). With decent material, she can actually be pretty good. For example, she also stars in one of the company's first Shock-O-Rama horror movie releases, THE SCREAMING DEAD (2004).

Directed by Brett Piper, a Vermont-based filmmaker and FX artist who's been writing and directing small genre films for over a decade (including the Ron Jeremy-starring fish creature flick, THEY BITE, and Tromas' infamous NYMPHOID BARBARIAN IN DINOSAUR HELL), THE SCREAMING DEAD is actually an entertaining and occasionally creepy homage to ‘60s Euro-horror flicks. The script is witty and smart, the direction solid, and the performances are better than average for a film of this budget and breeding.

An arrogant photographer, who specializes in art photos of women being tortured and degraded, hires three young models – including Mundae – for a photo shoot in an abandoned insane asylum. Of course, it's one of those abandoned asylums – you know, one with a history of sadism and abuse and torture, and the requisite lingering evil presence – and before long, the hidden passage to the secret dungeon is uncovered, and all hell breaks loose.

THE SCREAMING DEAD doesn't skimp on the nudity or the gore (especially the nudity), and director Piper keeps things moving at a pretty brisk pace. The asylum (which was a real abandoned mental hospital, by the way) is a great, atmospheric location, and the story, while less than fresh, is full of lurid thrills and even a surprise or two. Piper smartly toys with his audience's expectations of what an EI flick should be with some lesbian teasing, but refreshingly, this film stays on the horror track. Some low-budget CGI effects and amateurish-looking make-up on the film's villain mars the climax slightly, but it doesn't hurt the movie too badly.

It's not a stunner, but as EI's debut entry in their Shock-O-Rama line, it's a promising start and a fun flick. Being shot on hi-def video, the full-frame transfer is expectedly very crisp and sharp. The sound is robust and well-balanced. The disk includes a behind-the-scenes documentary, interviews with Piper and the cast, a documentary about Ms. Mundae, and video footage of the film's New York premiere and screening at a Fangoria convention. There's also a still gallery, a full-color insert booklet, and the usual butt-load of EI trailers.

I'm actually a long-time fan of Piper's work – his recent ‘50s-styled monster movie, ARACHNIA (2003, MTI Video), was a hoot – and I look forward to seeing what else he does with EI in the future.

To close out this week's column, we turn to ADV Films' martial arts action film, THE PRINCESS BLADE (2001), a samurai movie in modern drag.

Yumiko Shaku stars as Yuki, a nineteen year-old member of a clan of professional assassins known as The House of Takemikazuchi. When she's sent to kill a deserting member of her group, an old man appears and tells her that Byakurai (Kyusaku Shimada), current leader of the Takemikazuchi, killed Yuki's mother, the legitimate leader of the group, fifteen years before. Yuki returns to the group's secret headquarters and confronts Byakurai, prompting a furious sword fight that results in Yuki fleeing her former colleagues and seeking sanctuary with a young resistance fighter and his emotionally troubled sister.

Set in a vaguely totalitarian society in what appears to be either the near future or an alternate timeline, director Shinsuke Sato's THE PRINCESS BLADE is a live-action anime (based on a manga comic series), stylishly shot and conceived, but somehow dramatically unsatisfying. There is no sense of any closure at the film's downbeat ending, and I was left with the feeling that the previous 90 minutes didn't really amount to anything.

The fight scenes, choreographed by IRON MONKEY star Donnie Yen, are astounding and remarkably shot and edited – unfortunately, the time between these scenes seems endless.

ADV has two versions of this disc, one a special edition, the other a bare-bones, movie-only release. They sent me the bare-bones disc. The picture and sound on the disc are top-notch, with a flawless transfer. Unfortunately, aside from some trailers for other ADV releases, that's it. According to their catalog, "the special edition is loaded with never before seen extras, including documentaries on The Making of THE PRINCESS BLADE and The Special Effects of THE PRINCESS BLADE, interviews with the cast and staff, Action Director Donnie Yen on the Action of THE PRINCESS BLADE, Behind the Scenes of THE PRINCESS BLADE, deleted scenes, outtakes and ADV previews." But since I never saw those, I can't comment on any of them.

Well, that's it for the first DVD Late Show. Next time, we'll look at recent releases from VCI, a couple more from Mondo Macabro, and whatever other interesting discs show up in my mailbox.


COMING ATTRACTIONS: SEVEN WOMEN FOR SATAN, SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS, SISTERS OF DEATH and more...

Femme Noir by Mills and Staton

http://www.atomicpulp.com

http://www.supernaturalcrime.com

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
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