"Not since KING KONG... has the screen exploded with such mighty fury and spectacle!"

I think it would be easiest to hit them chronologically, so we'll start with KONGA (1961), an American-International release directed by John Lemont, produced by Herman Cohen, and just recently released on disc by MGM to cash in on the current Kong kraze.

Unlike most of the films below, this one doesn't overtly copy the original film's storyline, instead coming up with a different origin for its super-sized simian. Michael Gough (HORRORS OF THE BLACK MUSEUM, Alfred in the Tim Burton BATMAN films) plays Doctor Charles Decker, an arrogant botanist and college professor whose experiments turn a small chimp named Konga into a gigantic, rampaging gorilla.

It takes a while to get there, though, and the audience has to sit through more than an hour of Gough being a complete prick to everyone around him and a few Rue Morgue-styled murders before Konga shoots up to Kong-like proportions and begins the obligatory rampage. Fortunately, Gough's Decker is an utter bastard, so fun to watch that it keeps your attention until the monkey business begins. Plus, there's a buxom blonde co-ed, a goofy gorilla suit (although better than most on this list) and some truly ridiculous pseudo-science to keep you entertained – just don't ask how the chimp switches species to become a gorilla. No one knows.

MGM's disc presents the movie in a crystal clear, full-screen (1.66:1) transfer. The picture quality is so sharp that it actually betrays the movie's special effects work, making the process shots and the Barbie dolls that Konga carries around way too obvious. The sound is a clear mono, with only minimal background noise. The basically bare-bones disc includes trailers for several unrelated DVD releases, and no other extras.

"The most colossal conflict the screen has ever known!"

Willis O'Brien, the special effects genius behind the original KONG, spent much of his life trying to put together a film project that would allow him to repeat and perhaps surpass his accomplishments on the 1933 classic. Unfortunately, most of those plans would go unrealized, and the one that did get made definitely didn't go as he planned.

At some point in the mid-Sixties, he approached producer Jerry Beck with a screenplay entitled KING KONG VS. PROMETHEUS, which pitted the gargantuan gorilla against a freakishly large Frankenstein monster. Beck tried to get the film off the ground for years before finally approaching Japan's Toho Studios. Toho was interested, but only in the idea of pitting the legendary Kong against their own massive mon-star, the Big G himself, Godzilla.

KING KONG VERSUS GODZILLA (KINGU KONGU TAI GOJIRA, 1962) was the final result, the third in the long-running Godzilla franchise, and the first in color. Universal has just released a new, restored version of the American cut on DVD, and it looks better than ever.

A nuclear submarine crashes into an iceberg and releases a slumbering Godzilla, which promptly heads for Japan. A Japanese corporation discovers King Kong on Farou Island, and brings him back to Japan. Godzilla tramples some buildings. Kong breaks free, grabs a girl and tramples some buildings. Then the two monsters meet and decide to battle for the privilege of trampling more buildings. Fight! Fight!

There's a little bit more to the story, but not much. Disappointingly, the monster sequences are done in Toho's usual man-in-suit technique (although there is one quick stop-motion shot), and while the Godzilla costume is one of the best, the Kong suit is terrible, with a grotesque caricature of a face, and mangy brown fur.

Fans who were hoping to finally get a look at the uncut Japanese version of this legendary smackdown will be disappointed by Universal's new DVD, which presents the same U.S. version of the film that's played on TV for decades. Edited-in Caucasian actors smugly sit behind desks and explain the action in condescending tones to the audience, special effects shots are lifted from other Toho films and inserted randomly, Akira Ifukube's marvelous score is butchered and cues from other Universal monster movies (most notably, THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON) are laid in over the action, and the dubbing is particularly bad.

However, while it's still the familiar U.S. version, the new disc does finally present it in a 2.40:1 widescreen format (which helps considerably) and it is anamorphically enhanced. The print appears to have been cleaned up – it certainly looks better than any previous home video version (and I have most of them), but still shows some age-related damage and faded colors. The Dolby Digital 2.0 mono track is fine, if unspectacular. There are no extras on this release, not even a trailer for Universal's new KONG film, which seems like it would be a no-brainer.

Still, for fans of the film, Godzilla aficionados, or kaiju nuts (and I'm all three), it's definitely worth picking up. The widescreen presentation improves the viewing experience considerably, and it's the best version currently available on home video.

"King Kong
You know the name of
King Kong
You know the fame of
King Kong
Ten times as big as a man!"

In 1966, Rankin-Bass Enterprises (who would become famous for their stop-motion Christmas specials, like RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER) licensed the Kong character from RKO and produced a Saturday morning cartoon series featuring a kinder, gentler version of the big lug. Now, Classic Media has released ten episodes of that toon on two volumes of KING KONG – THE ANIMATED SERIES.

The Bond family – young Bobby, his teenage sister Susan, and their scientist father – are exploring Mondo Island when Bobby is saved from a ravenous T-Rex by the friendly King Kong. Soon, the sizable simian is part of the family, protecting them from any and all threats, including the evil machinations of the mad scientist called Dr. Who (No, not the BBC TV character).

Each episode includes two 7-minute Kong adventures and an equally brief installment of TOM OF T.H.U.M.B., a cartoon about a miniature secret agent. The TOM cartoons are spectacularly dumb, but the KONG segments are strangely endearing. The best thing about the show, which was the first American-produced toon animated in Japan, is the theme song – once you hear it, it'll be stuck in your head for days. The animation by Toei Studios is fairly crude, but not terrible; it's better than most Saturday morning fare of the era.

Classic Media's DVDs present the show in slightly faded, but otherwise good looking full-frame transfers – especially for a nearly forty-year old show. I loved the discs and highly recommend them for Kong fans of all ages.

While the above-discussed cartoon was still airing, Rankin-Bass approached Toho Studios about co-producing a live-action version of the cartoon for theatrical release. After a false start (which became GODZILLA VS. THE SEA MONSTER, with the Big G stepping into the King's role), the collaboration finally resulted in the highly entertaining feature, KING KONG ESCAPES (KINGUKONGU NO GYAKUSHU, 1967).

The evil Doctor Who (Eisei Amamoto, voiced by Paul Frees) has built a robotic Mechani-Kong to mine the radioactive Element X in the Arctic. When his gorillabot breaks down, he heads for Mondo Island to shanghai the real thing. It's up to U.N. Peacekeeepers Cmdr. Nelson (Rhodes Reason, VOODOO ISLAND), Susan Watson (Linda Miller) and Jiro Nimura (Akira Takarada) to rescue the big ape and foil the sinister scientist's evil schemes.

Loosely based on the TV cartoon, but minus the intrepid Bond family, KING KONG ESCAPES is great Saturday afternoon matinee escapism, with a fun comic book-styled plot, lots of explosive destruction, great miniature work, and a rousing score. A man in a monkey suit once again plays Kong, but the costume is a marked improvement over the suit used in the previous Toho Kong film. The head and face are somewhat more cartoony, but at least resemble a gorilla. Mechani-Kong is just plain cool.

Never before released on home video in the U.S., Universal's new DVD is greatly appreciated. The widescreen, 2.40:1 anamorphic transfer is gorgeous, showing very little wear or damage. Colors are bright and stable, and the detail is extraordinary. The Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono audio track is sharp and clear of distortion. Like KING KONG VS. GODZILLA, Universal has not seen fit to include any extras, but that's okay. The price is right, and this long-desired disk looks and sounds great.

Possibly the worst of the Kong Klones is 1969's THE MIGHTY GORGA, starring former TV hunk Anthony Eisley (HAWAIIAN EYE). Directed by David L. Hewitt, GORGA must be seen to be believed.

Zoo owner Mark Remington (Eisley) decides to travel to Africa and find an attraction to save his nearly bankrupt operation. After some stock footage of an airplane, he arrives in what appears to be the same zoo he just left, which is now pretending to be Africa. He teams up with sexy Megan Timothy to search out the legendary giant ape god, Gorga, which is played by a guy in a cross-eyed ape costume, which we never see from the waist down. Gorga battles a ferocious T-Rex played by a dime store plastic toy held close to the camera, and our heroes ultimately decide to leave the giant gorilla in peace. There's also a villain and some white guys playing natives, but they're just there to pad this thing out to feature length.

The plastic dinosaur makes an appearance in the disc's companion feature, ONE MILLION AC/DC (1969), a softcore sex spoof written by the legendary Ed Wood and directed by Ed Priest. It's about as arousing as an autopsy, with unattractive naked people groping each other in dimly lit caves. Believe me, that reads better than it plays.

The DVD from Something Weird Video, though, is great. THE MIGHTY GORGA is presented in a nice, clean full-frame transfer, with clear mono sound. The companion feature doesn't look as good, but nobody should watch that, anyway. The disc also includes "Big Dumb Monster" trailers for about a dozen rare films, several prehistoric-themed short subjects, and a gallery of exploitation advertising art accompanied by classic radio commercials.

I find THE MIGHTY GORGA to be one of those so-bad-they're-good flicks, and an educational look at the type of movie my parent's generation would be subjected to at the drive-in. If that sounds fun to you, the disc is well worth adding to your collection.

"He was the mystery and the magic in their lives. In a year, that'll be an island of burnt-out drunks."

I'm going to put my reputation (such as it is) on the line here and publicly state for the record that Dino DeLaurentis and John Guillermin's KING KONG (1976) is not as bad as everyone says it is.

The film retells the story of the 1933 movie, updating it to 1976. The screenplay includes references to the mid-Seventies energy crisis, the rising concern over the environment, "dope," and even DEEP THROAT! A young Rick Baker plays Kong in a remarkable ape suit, but unfortunately the process work is so bad that his achievement is severely undermined. John Barry's score for the film, however, is outstanding and memorable, and Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lange both give very good performances, despite how badly their characters are written.

Paramount has just re-released the movie on DVD with hideous new cover art (probably because the earlier edition used the original poster image, which prominently featured the World Trade Center towers), but otherwise identical to the earlier release. The anamorphic widescreen transfer is nearly flawless (although the high resolution does sometimes render optical elements translucent), and the 5.1 Surround sound track is full and robust. The disc also includes the original theatrical trailer, and that brought back some memories.

The 1976 KING KONG is not a classic. It's not even a particularly good movie. But I would argue that there's a lot in there to appreciate, and for those of us who remember the era, it's a pretty good time capsule of what the world was like in the mid-Seventies.

The 1976 remake inspired a slew of imitations and parodies, including the British-made spoof, QUEEN KONG (1976). Unfortunately, DeLaurentis didn't have much of a sense of humor, and managed to prevent the movie from ever being exhibited in the United States or sold to American TV. For decades, cult movie buffs weren't even sure if the film existed, but thanks to Retromedia's DVD release, we can now see it for ourselves.

The plot is a gender-reversal take on the original story, with filmmaker Luce Habit (the attractive and funny Rula Lenska) picking up long-haired blond Ray Fay (Robin Askwith) to star in her new movie, shot on location in exotic Lazanga-where-they-do-the conga. There, Ray is snatched by "Queenie" – an actor in a particularly bad gorilla suit with prominent breasts – and carried off into the "jungle."

Directed by Frank Agrama, QUEEN is a decidedly low budget, lowbrow affair, a Zucker Brothers-styled satire that takes shots at not only the '76 KONG and the 1933 original, but various other Seventies pop culture phenomenon as well, including JAWS, THE EXORCIST, AIRPORT and the women's lib movement. Special effects are decidedly non-special, and how funny you find the film depends on your tolerance for sub-Python British humor. Personally, I find it mildly amusing.

Retromedia's DVD (currently available as part of a "Kong" two-pack, paired with the giant ape-less KING OF KONG ISLAND) presents the rare spoof in a solid, 1.85: widescreen format. The mono sound is clear. The extra features include the British theatrical trailer and a commentary track by director Agrama and Retromedia's Fred Olen Ray.

Recommended for the curious and giant-ape completists (like me).

"Torn From Their Jungle Paradise... Betrayed By Those They Trusted... DESTRUCTION FOR ALL!"

My absolute favorite of the latter-day pseudo-Kongs is the delirious Shaw Brothers effort, MIGHTY PEKING MAN (XING XING WANG, 1977). This Hong Kong-produced adventure epic stars Danny Lee (John Woo's THE KILLER, INFRA-MAN) and gorgeous Euro-babe Evelyn Kraft in a highly entertaining take on the subgenre.

Lee guides an expedition into the treacherous jungles of India, and finds not only the massive missing link of the title, but a beautiful blonde jungle babe as well. The girl and the gargantuan man-ape are brought back to Hong Kong for exhibition, with predictable results. The action never lets up, Kraft is a rare beauty, and the movie is just plain fun.

The Shaw Brothers Studios are best known for their high-kicking kung fu movies, but this – their sole effort in the giant monster genre – is a giddily goofy and kooky creature feature. The special effects were done by many of the same Japanese technicians responsible for the classic Godzilla flicks, flown into Hong Kong specifically for this picture, and the miniature destruction is a joy to behold.

Miramax's DVD is part of their short-lived "Quentin Tarantino's Rolling Thunder Pictures" line, and includes a beautiful 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer and a Dolby Digital mono soundtrack of the English-language dub. The only extras on the disc are trailers – the one that Tarantino used for the flick's late 90's revival run, and trailers for the Miramax releases of SWITCHBLADE SISTERS and FROM DUSK 'TIL DAWN 3.

Despite the lack of extras, the movie is highly recommended.

"Kill that hairy son-of-a-bitch! Let's see him dance for his organ-grinder now!"

Down near the bottom of the barrel with THE MIGHTY GORGA is director Paul Leder's APE (KING KONGUI DAEYEOKSEUB, 1976), another Southeast Asian attempt to ride the box office coattails of Dino DeLaurentis' remake. Shot in South Korea and starring American imports Rod Arrants, Alex Nichol and TV mom Joanna Kerns (GROWING PAINS, here billed as "Joanna DeVarona"), APE was shot as a 3-D film, although never released (at least in the U.S.) in that format.

A giant APE (a guy in a baggy gorilla suit) escapes from a ship in Seoul harbor, and wades ashore, pausing only to wrestle with a giant shark (played by a real, dead, sand shark). Soon, the APE finds himself falling for an American actress (Kerns) – it must be his species' notorious weakness for blondes. APE wanders the Korean kountryside, smashing buildings and battling the army until he finally meets his tragic fate.

The effects are laughable, and it seems like the filmmakers couldn't decide if they were making a "straight" monster movie or a spoof, with some of it played way too seriously, and other parts obviously meant as jokes (the APE flipping off an attack helicopter, for example).

The disc from Image Entertainment is a bare-bones affair, with a clean widescreen 1.85:1 anamorphic transfer and no extras at all. Overall, it's a crappy movie and a mediocre disc, of interest only to giant monkey enthusiasts. So of course, I bought it as soon as it came out.

"America's Biggest Hero is back... and He is not happy."

While I may make a half-heated defense of DeLaurentis and Guillermin's '76 KONG, I can't do the same for their indefensible 1986 sequel, KING KONG LIVES.

The sequel no one asked for plays something like this: ten years after his fall from the World Trade Center – which apparently was not fatal, but did put him in a coma – Kong is revived by cutie scientist Linda Hamilton (THE TERMINATOR) by transplanting an artificial heart into his chest. At nearly the same time, cut-rate Indiana Jones wannabe Brian Kerwin finds a female giant ape in Africa, and brings her to the United States. Kong catches her scent, and... you know this will end badly, right?

The screenplay from usually reliable genre scribe Ronald Shusett (ALIEN) is a campy mess that makes the '76 film look brilliant in comparison, and Guillermin's direction is uninspired, at best. The gorilla suits are actually pretty good, but once again, the process work and miniatures are shoddy and amateurish. There is some camp value in seeing two guys in monkey suits make goo-goo eyes at each other, but that's about it.

20th Century Fox Home Video's DVD is another bare-bones release, featuring only a very sharp and pristine 2.35:1 anamorphic transfer and robust Dolby Digital 5.1 and Dolby 2.0 stereo soundtracks. That's it.

For Kong kompletists only.

That's it for this week. Next time, I'll finally get around to the sleazy cinema classics I promised before in a special, "Unrated" Late Show. Be there.

COMING ATTRACTIONS: it's DVD Late Show UNRATED – with the nastiest and craziest flicks in my review pile, including BLOOD & BLACK LACE, SACRED FLESH, WOMENS PRISON MASSACRE, EMMANUELLE IN AMERICA, FOR YOUR HEIGHT ONLY and more!

Femme Noir by Mills and Staton

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