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This Week’s Sermon – “Countdown to Extinction”

By Britt Schramm

February 20, 2006

Happy Prez Day to all of my USA readers. By the way, since I missed Valentine’s Day, are you feeling the PftL love, my peeps?

That’s right; it’s another mighty PftL column; in back-to-back weeks, no less. Yeah, I can hardly contain my excitement either.

The topic of this week’s column is about something that I saw last month. Don’t worry, it’s nothing too shocking but there seems to be a trend that I’m finding disturbing here in Northern Virginia. This tale of mine starts out after a day of heavy mall shopping before Super Bowl Sunday. My two and half year old was vacantly staring out the window in his car seat then began to yell at me with his outside voice, no less, that he was thirsty. His mother informed me of her agreement to that same sentiment. She must not have felt as parched as her first born since she only used her inside voice to tell me.

As we were going home from Leesburg, I made the command decision to stop off at a 7-11 for some refreshments in a Sterling strip mall called Countryside. Now, we usually blow right past this place when we're either going up to the Super Target in Leesburg or to Dulles Town Center so I haven't actually been to this strip mall in more than a year. As we drove up to the Sev and my mind started to wander (as it usually does) when my wife dictates to me what flavor of Big Gulp she wants, I looked around and felt like there was something missing. That thing that was missing was this place called Andy's Comics & Collectibles, that I used to kill time at while she was at a scrapbook store in the same strip mall, was converted to some sort of fitness center.

I wasn’t really surprised that the store was no longer in business. The place was kinda hidden away from any type of meaningful customer traffic. But, there were other factors that accounted for the demise of this store; other than the location of the store.

If I can be honest with you for a second, it just bums me out that I keep seeing comic books stores in my area fade away faster than my respect for Van Halen as a rock group if those internet rumors about their involvement with the CBS Rockstar “reality” series are true. So, rather than let things lie, I want to offer a couple reasons as to why good old Andy’s Comics failed to succeed in today’s comic book climate:

** Oh My Gawd, It’s Another PftL Disclaimer – My points of reason are just that; my observations and mine alone. I have never owned a comic book store; although I have worked various jobs in the self-proprietary retail business for years as an indentured servant (Thanks, Mom!). Also, I’m old enough to have seen how cyclical modern pop culture can be. And if I even need to state this for further validation, I work part time at my local comic book store, which not only included jockeying the register but I also assisted in the installation of their current inventory management/POS environment. Please take this autopsy for what its worth - free.

Also, I know that this may be a variant of what I have discussed previously when I was dreaming into action. So, while this column may read like a repeat or a rehash, it’s not. Let’s live in the now, shall we?**

Mistake #1: Trying to be everything to everyone will leave you the poorest of them all - This is not just a section of a lyric from an Everclear song. This is possibly the first misstep with most of today's failing brick-and-mortar stores. This store not only carried regular monthly comics with a subscription service and some trade paperbacks but also had a couple rows of back issue bins, various statues, action figures, and trading/gaming (Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, etc) cards.

I'm all for diversifying your business portfolio in order to gain foothold in an untapped market. However, as a store owner in this day of retail comic sales, you must refrain buying all sorts of comic-related stuff in order from falling into those financial pitfalls. If the store that has comic books in the title, then you should probably keep the focus of your store to be on comics - not on any type of trading cards that are printed; no matter how cool they may look.

If you have the kind of overhead at your disposal that will allow you to try out a few new cards, then by all means, go for it. But to invest a significant portion of the store’s revenues into cards just doesn’t make sense. Let me put it another way. Have you ever seen a gaming store manager or a trading card store owner trying to increase their sales by adding a spinner of comic books near the register? Yeah, I didn’t think so. It’s the same as throwing a couple boxes of random trading/gaming cards on the counter. They’re either going to sell out or sit there collecting something themselves – dust.

As for statues and action figures, I’ll admit it - I like them and I probably buy more of them than I care to admit. However, they’re hard to determine which items would sell well and what ones won’t. And the direct market price doesn’t help matters.

Most of the action figures almost retail as much as a trade paperback (around $15-20). Even with the price of inflation, that’s a lot of kale to be forking over for a plastic figure. Especially when you consider that the local Toys ‘R Us or Target will sell their action figures for less than half of that price. Granted, they’re not the same ones but really, it’s hard to buy them in gross when you’re competing for the same buyers as the toy store conglomerates. And don’t get me started on how eBay totally devalues the figure market.

And the statues are very purdy but at $75 and up, they’re very costly to not only the consumer but the shop owner when you consider the amount of retail space that one of those bulky boxes occupies until it is sold. An oversized hardcover of, say, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Volume 2, which retails for about $75, takes up about a third of the place and can still fit nicely in a bookshelf for a better facing/display.

In this case, the last time that I visited the store, it was littered with statues of various creations and all kinds of action figures; at least a third of them should’ve been gotten rid of years ago. And having those old ones sitting on your shelves is not exactly turning over merchandise. After a certain amount of time, there is no way to obtain any ROI (Return on Investment) for those pieces since the intrinsic value of figures and statues takes a steep nose dive when the demand for them has waned, obviously. All I’m saying is that it’s best to pick and chose the figures and/or statues that you should have in the store and limit your quantity.

Mistake #2: Having issues with keeping those Back Issue Bins - There was a time when you could measure a good comic book store by its back issue bin. That time has passed. In today’s world, the decline of the retail market, the increased practice of slabbing valuable comic books along with the strong presence of comic book retailers on the Internet all have factored into sufficiently killing any type of aftermarket for old comics as far as the store owners are concerned. Case in point, why go to your local store and search in vain through stacks and stacks of Spawn #1s for that one issue of Jack Kirby’s New World that you’re missing when you can hit as many online stores (including eBay) as your browser can have open windows to find the best price? It just doesn’t make cents. Nice pun, huh? Yeah, I’m a veritable wordsmith, aren’t I?

I remember this store having at least four rows (five-seven longboxes in each row) of comics from mid 80s to recent. Unfortunately, most of those same back issues were still around at the beginning of 2003, which was the last time I visited the store. If you don’t see a turn-over in those bins, you gotta mark them down, sell them on eBay or find a comic book warehouse that will buy from you. Since the market has moved away from physically looking at the books, holding on to this business relic from the past would turn those racks into a literal anchor around the neck of the store which would choke the life out of the store.

Mistake #3: Manga is not Japanese for throwing your money away - Have you seen a retail book store recently? If you haven’t, let me tell you: The graphic novel section is basically three times what it was back in the early 90s and three-fourths of that section is all Manga digest-sized trades. To get and retain new customers, you have to get what they want. If the store is a trading card store, then by all means, buy as many of the latest Pokemon/Yu-Gi-Oh blister packs as you can. However, if you want to run a moderately successful comic book store, you should seriously consider selling your fair share of Manga comics.

I know, I know. Most staunch super-hero readers think that Manga is a fad. However, those misguided fanboys fail to realize that Manga has already become as viable as any other comic book genre that is out on the shelves. Its influence on everything from Saturday morning TV to even super-hero comics cannot be dismissed as a passing whim. If your store doesn’t adapt to the changes in comic book readers’ tastes, it might be able to survive for a few months. Then, the tumbleweeds will blow by and before you know it, your main source of income will become as extinct as quickly as the second generation 10 GB iPod that is currently gathering dust on your desk.

In this example, this store was terribly woeful as far as carrying Manga outside the few popular ones. Since there are so many different sub-genres that Manga utilizes than normal US comic books, a store would be doing itself a great disservice if they only have a smattering of them. I would think that presently, selling Manga would be similar to sowing seeds to grow tomorrow’s readers. Gawd, I am the mofo cliché-making master.

I’ll say it again for those who may have skipped out on the disclaimer above – I don’t own a comic book store nor do I pretend to know all of the ins and outs of the business. But if you want to be successful in running any type of business, you have to be prepared to do a couple of things:

• Get to know your clientele and their interests
• Become overly familiar with the product(s) that you’re selling; almost to the point of obsession
• Don’t be afraid of trying new items in moderation
• Love your job; but not in an unhealthy way

If you get those things figured out and avoid those pitfalls that I observed above for ya here, your store still might not be the most successful comic book one around. But you still should be in business longer than Andy’s Comics & Collectibles in Sterling.

Attack of the PftL Mailbag

Longtime reader Chet K. takes to time out of his busy day to provide me with some anger management:

“Dear LB Preacher,

It's about freaking time dude! I missed your rantings. Does the state of the world as we know have you down? Having trouble finding a reason to write about the problems you see when nothing seems to get better? Why not go pro-active? Instead of just highlighting trouble-spots with amusing satire you could also suggest solutions. How about an "If Schramm Were King" column?

Good to have ya back oh Pissed Off One.

P.S. Can you e-mail the pod casts of Battlestar Galactica from 2007?”

Chet – Thanks for the welcoming. The state of my world (outside of the health of my family) is not the greatest but it’s late February which means the Sox start spring training any day. Then, my world might get a little brighter. And concerning your suggestion, I might have something in the works for ya. So, stay tuned. As for those BG podcasts, they’ve been encrypted with special software that will infect your computer with an email generating worm. Think of this software like the one used on those protected Sony/BMG CDs; only taken to absurd levels. Sorry, man.

Another longtime reader Eddie C. sends his jabs my way:

“Hey Britt,

Glad to see your staying on board. That's one reason to come back to Movie Poop Shoot with the loss of so much talent. Hope a lot more articles are forthcoming. Sometimes I think you're on the same release schedule as some of these comic publishers (just kidding).

Anyway, great picks for the Top Four List, especially Uncanny X-Men. Say what you want about mutants, Chris Claremont and John Byrne on Uncanny are must-reads for any self-professed comic fanboy. I know you touched on it, but how about a review or whatever, your thoughts on some reason takes of fan favorites like "Astonishing X-Men" and maybe "The Ultimates." Two of my favorite Marvel books right now. What do you think of the new X-Factor?

As for me, I loved the original Peter David run on X-Factor and like seeing the return of some of the characters, but something's missing from this book. A sense of adventure, A sense of excitement. Comics used to be fun. Now, everybody's so serious. Some good work has come from this, what-would-you-call-it, comic noir or comic nouveau style, but sometimes I miss the good ol' fun comics.”

Eddie – Thanks for the kind words and I’m working on that whole delay crap as you can tell with this column. And you said that you want me to review some current titles. Well I don’t want to take anything away from Marc Mason’s well-written column “Should It Be A Movie” here at the 'Shoot. Plus, since I’m woefully behind on my readings (current backlog – 2 months not including trade paperbacks), all of the zesty topicality that I'd include when giving my reviews would end up being as lame as Dick Cheney's excuse for shooting his supposed buddy on that hunting trip.

But how ‘bout I do you one better? That’s right; it’s the return of…

Uncensored Reactions to Next Week’s Comics

(ya see, cause someone asked for it..)

DC

Legion of Superheroes #15 – A nice stop-gap issue that reflects on the many different incarnations of the LSH before Supergirl hits the Legion next month. Those of you (like myself) who used to read LSH back in the day will find this book amusing.

The American Way #1 – This one is pretty interesting; John Ridley and George Jeanty do good work together in this story of Cuban War-era mystery men. The only problem is that it comes in on the heels of Image’s Battle Hymn and some casual readers might think that the two books are similar except for the different time periods. Those people would be wrong. My Silver Medal Pick

The Warlord #1 – I know that this book is a restart of an older series but I never read it when I was younger. Bruce Jones and Bart Sear definitely establish the main and supporting characters and seem to have the fantasy element down. I’m very interested to see how the second issue continues this fine beginning.

Marvel

The Thing #4 – Dan Slott is dialing in the funny recently and this book is no exception. The Thing is put through the ringer but not in the way you would think. And having LockJaw around just adds to the fun. The last scene makes me wish for a cool dog like LJ. My Bronze Medal Pick

Storm #1 – Ehh, I don’t know about this one. It’s a story of how Ororo and her life as a thief in Africa. I guess that I might be too old-school on this one. Plus, I don’t really see how this story is a prelude to the Wedding of the Century.

The Amazing Spider-Man #529 – Ahh, it can only be the cheesy goodness that is Spidey in a new costume. This new suit is designed by Tony Stark and has all the modern conveniences that Shell-Head would have. And yet it looks so gawd-awful tacky that you would think that Parker wouldn’t be caught dead in it. Is it me or can’t Stark think of any other color scheme other than Red and Gold? It’s no wonder that the nickname on the Web for this is “Iron Spidey”. Just stupid, if you ask me.

Boom! Studios

War of the Worlds: Second Wave #1 – I didn’t know what expect from this one. I haven’t read the book nor have I seen the movie with that crazy Tom Cruise. So, I was going into it blind. Luckily for me, it had nothing to do with either but it still delivered a great read. I also haven’t heard of either writer Michael Alan Nelson or artist Chee but with this book, I can expect that fact to change. If you dig any type of sci-fi with an added survivalist horror wrinkle, do yourself a favor - just pick this sucker up and drink it all in. My Gold Medal Pick

That’s it for this week. See ya next time. Don’t forget to keep your bags and boards together and your continuity straight.

Send column-specific e-mail using the link below. If you want to read my thoughts on Frank Miller's new Batman project, Mike Davis' resignation from Indiana University basketball, and the music of DragonForce, you can find them at brittschramm.com. Plus, check out my reviews of anything and everything that has to do with Pop Culture at Kung Fu Rodeo.

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