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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT...
(A guide to the undiscovered, underrated and underappreciated)

August 14, 2002
By Tom Grozan

Swamp Boogie, Part II

Last column we began our look at Mark Millar and Phil Hester's series-rejuvenating run on SWAMP THING. If you missed part one, you can catch up here. To quickly sum up, in issues 140-150, we found Swamp Thing on the run from the Parliament of Trees and under the guidance of The Traveler, Don Roberto and El Senor Blake. Following their advice, he travels to the magical Black Forest in Germany, where he defeats Sargon the Sorcerer and the champion of The Parliament of Stones. Having passed their challenge, he's given the elemental powers of minerals uniting the earth and green for the first time in millennia. He also learns that there are Parliaments for all four elements: Earth, Air, Water, and Fire. If he can pass their challenges, he will control all the elements and become a virtual god.

Issues 151 - 158 "River Run"
Written by Mark Millar with art by Phil Hester, Chris Weston and Phil Jimenez

In the first issue of "River Run," we open with a woman on a morgue slab. Her scalpel wound closes up and the pathologists leave. She's then wheeled back into an ambulance and driven to the swamp where the paramedics dump her lifeless body into the water. There she emerges from the water and back to life, walking backward onto the bank where puts her clothes back on and sits under a tree. A very bewildered Swamp Thing observes all of this. When he goes over to talk to her, he finds out that her name is Anna and she has been repeating this sequence in a continuous loop hundreds of times. She tells him that she is the author of an unfinished book of short stories dealing with alternate realities. Until it's finished, she's unable to rest in peace. The unifying element missing from her stories is Swamp Thing. She wants him to enter her book and finish the stories, enabling her soul to move on.

The prologue to "River Run" sets the ambitious tone of the storyline, with the backward storytelling sequence years before anyone would hear of MEMENTO. The chilling morgue sequence is offset by the melancholy charm of Anna as she relates her dilemma to Swamp Thing in a remarkably casual manner for someone who kills herself every half hour. The story arc is the perfect opportunity for Millar to tell series of EC-style one-shot horror stories while still retaining a unifying theme continuing the title's storied tradition of creepy single-issue tales of terror.

"River Run" is comprised of six individual stories, starting with "City of the Dead," a Raymond Chandler-esque private-eye story set in a world where vampires and zombies are commonplace and Detective Harry Moon is enlisted to find a missing person who had a de-evolving spell cast on him. Next is "Twilight of the Gods," set in a world where the Nazis were victorious in WWII. The world they rule is a virtual utopia, but the President of the United States of Amerika faces crushing guilt over the means in which it was achieved. With the son of Hitler coming to visit, he animates a Golem to judge the world and gain retribution for the dead on which their new world was built. "The Bad Seed" switches roles for two longtime Swamp Thing cast members. Longtime nemesis Anton Arcane is an innocent farmer and his niece Abby (Swamp Thing's lover) is the evil one who tortures and murders him and his family. "The Secret of Slaughter Swamp" features a Green Lantern-like character named Black Box who learns the devastating cost of past deceptions when facing Solomon Grundy. In "Darker Genesis," the events of Swamp Thing's origin are played out in a real-world setting where it ends not in the fantastic but in cold death and destruction. The concluding chapter, "Sink or Swim," parallels Anna's situation in which a writer commits suicide after her life is destroyed by not answering a chain letter. Having passed through all the chapters, Swamp Thing is then led to the bottom of the ocean where he meets the Parliament of Waves. They tell him that Anna was a stillborn wave elemental, and having freed her and passed the challenge, he now assumes the elemental powers of water.

"River Run" is Mark Millar's defining moment on SWAMP THING and worthy heir to Alan Moore's "American Gothic" storyline. He not only gives the stories the requisite "Twilight Zone" twists and turns, but also an emotional resonance that make them all the more powerful and horrifying. Phil Hester turns in some of the best work of his career along with the then-neophyte Chris Weston and Phil Jimenez creating the unique worlds Swamp Thing passes through. It's a crime that this is not collected in a trade paperback, considering the popularity of the creators involved and the accessibility of the stories. If DC were to collect only one part of this run, it should be "River Run."

Issues 159 - 165 "The Nightmaster"
Written by Mark Millar with art by Phil Hester

Tark the Barbarian and his sidekick Boz enter our world through a dimensional portal looking for Jim Rook, also known as The Nightmaster. Evil warlocks have raped and plundered their world of Myrra and are threatening to cross over to Earth unless they can find the legendary hero. When Tark is killed trying to stare down an 18-wheeler, Boz is left on his own to finish the quest.

Jim Rook is an aging former rock star who has written off his sword & sorcery past as a drug trip. He now leads an empty desolate existence pining for the wife who left him 20 years before, after he quit the music business and gave away all his money. Prodded by Boz, Rook reluctantly takes up the mantle of the Nightmaster. Elsewhere Swamp Thing is questioning himself and the motives of those guiding him as his newfound abilities cause his grip on humanity to become more tenuous. Fearing that further ascension toward elemental godhood would cause him to lose his humanity altogether, he resolves not to participate in any more challenges. When the mysterious three inform him of the warlock invasion, he finds he has no choice. When Swamp Thing enters the portal, he finds nothing but an empty bookstore. Myrra is a fantasy world inspired by the books Jim Rook loved as a child, given form by the power of his need to escape from his misery. Once Swamp Thing closes the book on Myrra, he's transported to the Parliament of Vapors and given power over air. Moving beyond human perception, he returns to Earth a virtual god.

Millar reaches back into the past once again and recasts another semi-obscure DC character in the Vertigo mold. This time it's, of course, the Nightmaster who was an early '70s attempt to cash in on the popularity of Conan. This story, while interesting on its own, is really a build-up toward the climactic "Trial By Fire," as Swamp Thing starts to realize where this journey is leading him and that there is no turning back. The agendas of the various players introduced since issue 140 come into clearer focus and the stage is set for magicians and gods to battle for the fate of the Earth.

Issues 166-171 "Trial By Fire"

One year after passing the challenge of the Parliament of Vapors, Swamp Thing has created an elemental palace for himself in the Louisiana swamp. Now virtually a God, Swamp Thing has announced that humanity is a virus threatening the health of the Earth and that after he passes the final challenge from the Parliament of Flames, he's going to wipe the Earth clean and start over. The Phantom Stranger, John Constantine, Jason Woodrue and Timothy Raven have a plan in place to make sure that doesn't happen. The Word, the living embodiment of the voice of God, is destroying the Parliaments one by one in preparation for a confrontation with Swamp Thing. The Stranger, Constantine and company are going make sure the path is clear for The Word to finish the job. Woodrue captures Tefe, Swamp Thing's daughter and main defense against The Word. Raven then summons Anton Arcane, Swamp Thing's old nemesis and now one of the most feared demons in hell, to distract him till The Word can arrive. Arcane returns, but not as expected; he's been reformed by the missionary Priest in Hell from issue 144. He appeals to the Swamp Thing that if even a soul as tainted as his can be saved, then there is always hope for humanity. It's then that Constantine shows up, having stolen the magic wishing matches that were to be the Swamp Thing's boon for passing the challenge of the Parliament of Flames. Lighting a cigarette as he talks, he tells Swamp Thing of the plan, having already made his wish when he struck the match. Swamp Thing returns to the form of Alec Holland just as The Word shows up. Just before The Word can kill Alec Holland, Tefe, who has escaped, shows up and destroys him. At that moment, Swamp Thing passes the challenge of the Parliament of Flames and, uniting all four elements, becomes the Earth itself. It's then that he finds himself part of the Parliament of Worlds. Now in tune with all life that's upon the planet, he sees the true nature of all things and has no more desire to destroy.

Millar wraps the series up brilliantly, taking Swamp Thing's elemental concept to its most logical and final conclusion. All the most important and familiar faces show up and are given closure. In another nod to Moore, Jason Woodrue, who was so integral to Moore's first Swamp Thing story "The Anatomy Lesson," helps close out the comic in a similar fashion. Millar also gives us one of the best portrayals of John Constantine ever, so much so that I'd love to see him take on Hellblazer someday. The way he used Anton Arcane was totally unexpected and ingenious. He presented an epic storyline and everything he laid out was wrapped up perfectly. The result is one of the best conclusions ever to a comic-book series. Millar seemed to truly understand the legacy of Alan Moore, remaining true to its spirit while still pursuing his own original vision and voice. The result is the perfect mix of horror and humanity that is a must-have for any fans of the character and creators.

Whew, finally! Unfortunately this monstrosity, three weeks in the making, is the LAST "In Case You Missed It." Starting next week, "In Case You Missed It..." relinquishes its headline status to my new column "Forced Perspective." I'm going to be looking at both new comics and old, as well as give my opinion on what's going on in comicdom. This gives me more of a chance to showcase my original voice instead of just recapping old stories, and hopefully you'll like the sound of it. See you next week.

E-MAIL THE AUTHOR | ARCHIVES












Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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