By Thom Fowler
July 25, 2003
Comic-Con International 2003
I know. What’s so spectacularly over-the-edge, underground, unknown (for all the right reasons), or socially pressing as a comic book convention?
Well, if you have to ask …
THEN YOU SUCK!
Stop reading right now, Madame Sucktacular.
But if you know (*wink* *wink*), if you “get it”, then read on, my friend.
And then tell me, because I have no frickin’ idea.
So what’s more important, pictures or words… words or pictures. If you are talking about comics then of course it’s words AND pictures! Fewer words than pictures preferably.
This photo essay is not meant to capture the totality of Comic-Con International 2003 but it’s certainly representative of what I was seeing. I was supposed to be on the Movie Webmasters Unloaded panel moderated by Chris Gore of Film Threat but I couldn’t make it to San Diego until Saturday, which made me, at least for a few days, “The Asshole.”
I mean, I work my ass off for nearly five years writing for movie sites, learning about the movie industry, getting hooked up with publicists galore and even getting somewhat of a reputation prompting people to e-mail me to start writing reviews again after I hadn’t for months and months and finally, I have an opportunity to become something more than a generic “fan boy who sells film junket schwag on eBay” like so many other Internet film fan Website Webmasters, and I don’t show up to talk about the more serious criticism that I actually do write.
Not that there is anything wrong with those big-budget tent-pole fellating Internet film reviewers and let me tell you, those major studio marketing execs LOVE guys like Harry Knowles but the indie folks also appreciate the effort to cover films with modest promotional budgets, sometimes called “small” films. Which I think is stupid, because in terms of scope, LEGALLY BLONDE 2 is a much smaller film with a grandiose budget, than say, DIRTY PRETTY THINGS which is a much larger movie in terms of story with a modest budget.
Anyway, to each his own. I’m not here to tell you that just because a movie screens in 3,000 theatres doesn’t mean it’s worth the gas money you spent getting there. I’m also acutely aware that just because a film has an art house release doesn’t mean it’s worth the amount of posturing intellectual cinephiliac whining you’ll have to endure in the lobby afterwards.
Admittedly, I’m biased. I am glad the Action/Adventure genre has finally strayed away from the stupidly misogynistic plot twists and brain-dead machismo with guns. (Now if only the Bush Jr. presidency could manage to do the same.) But I still don’t care for bombs and boobs or lame romantic comedies with characters too unoriginal to care about or overly simplistic plots or any other movie that was sold because the pitch started, “It’s HARRY MET SALLY meets … ”
However, I did like BUBBLE BOY. Coulda been because of Jake Gyllenhal, coulda been because it was just a completely stupid premise that was deadpanned with the utmost sincerity (which made it unbearably funny and I guess ironic, but in a sincere, “if it was cool to actually have feelings and be emotionally vulnerable and want to fall in love” kind of way.)
Cuz you know us super-cool cats don’t let nothing touch us. Our fear of rejection and failure makes us overly protective of our ego. Yup.
The important thing is that reams and reams of celluloid keep flying out the ass of film makers everywhere. Or digital video … whichever. Go fight with each about it. I don’t want to hear it. If you can make it, make it. If you can show it, show it. Tell your story, that’s all.
High brow, low brow, no brow. It’s all good.
Comic-Con was cool and fun. This was my second year. Last year I was just a schmo with a camera and a vague curiosity about this wide world of Comicdom. But this year, I was on a panel and signed autographs in a booth. Never mind that I was foisting said autograph upon all the people who came by the View Askew booth to pick up one of the limited edition 8-page full-color MoviePoopShoot.com brochures with an introductory “inspiring in an anti-hero kind of way” letter from Kevin Smith. Besides the fact that I’m in it, you might be able to make a down-payment on a house after auctioning it off through Christies .. it’s JUST THAT VALUABLE.
Meeting the other “Poop Shooters” was cool and Derek Miner (creator of Critical Mess – my favorite thing on the whole Internet – it’s more than a reality check, it’s a reality correction) made us all MoviePoopShoot.com press badges. Which prompted me to say, in that Pavlovian way that Homer Simpson responds to donuts, “Badges … we don’t need no steenking badges.”
All the chicks wanted my digits when they saw my MPS badge. Whoa! Slow down. I can only break one heart at a time. Comic-con just ain’t the dating pool I’m swimming in, dude, with a few notable exceptions. (Jake?)
I saw a lot of Lord of The Ring Elves, Anikin Skywalkers from Attack Of The Clones and Neos but no Krusty the Klowns. None, only in miniature and plastic.
Speaking of Lord of The Rings – the Twin Towers has grossed over 900 million dollars worldwide. What that means is thatPeter Jackson, the man who brought you MEET THE FEEBLES and HEAVENLY CREATURES can now change the setting on his ray-gun from “Stun” to “Kill.”
Aside from getting to meet big movie stars, talking to hundreds of comic fans and collectors, loading up on posters, comics and toys and getting to meet my favorite comic book artists and writers, the thing I will always remember most about Comic-Con 2003 is walking into the men’s room and being overwhelmed by hot ass-stench and the two young guys behind me shouting, “ FORCE FIELD!”
Aaah. Comic-Con 2003, you were over too soon. Until next year …
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