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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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PERFECT PITCH

By David Thomas

May 20, 2003

Pick of the Week

OFFICER MAY, Smoking in A Minor (Ace Fu)

If you’re reading this column, you probably follow music pretty closely. You’re not looking for my latest musing on the YEAH YEAH YEAHS or the WHITE STRIPES (that was weeks ago anyway). Hopefully you’re coming here to read about something you’ve never heard about or forgotten about or even to get a trusted opinion.

Perhaps I’m thinking too highly of myself and the column but that’s what I hope is really happening out in the cyber world. So this week I present you a review of OFFICER MAY’s debut full-length Smoking in A Minor. This Boston-based trio stopped listening to music after the release of NIRVANA’s Bleach. The influence of that record on an otherwise garage-tuned indie rock band is more than noticeable, especially in Chris Warren’s slurred screams, but the homage only underlines the band’s actual talent.

Unlike the big rockers aping ALICE IN CHAINS, like STAIND, GODSMACK etc., OFFICER MAY is taking the lo-fi path and channeling the purity of early NIRVANA work. I’ll stop mentioning the similarities and delve into how the band is charging ahead in their own right on tracks like “Time Is Taking Its Sweet Time." The music is blistering and features as many time changes as any FUGAZI disc. The screeching guitars flow between melody and noisy jams while Warren pleads, “You couldn’t believe this was happening to you.”

“My Heart The Boomerang” follows, incorporating more of the late-`60s garage rock and fusing it with the band’s own high-energy output. All the songs come together quickly and there seems to be incredible spontaneity that is hard to fake.

The album conjures thoughts of Bleach for sure but there is certainly more than enough talent here to perpetuate a career on its own and hopefully for a whole lot longer.

Derivative Pick of the Week

THE LONG WINTERS, When I Pretend to Fall (Barsuk Records)

To continue my ruminations this week, THE LONG WINTERS hit me at just the wrong time. If I had heard this Ken (THE POSIES) Stringfellow-produced disc before the FRUIT BATS disc, I might have had a totally different opinion. But after a few listens to John Roderick and company (the guests include Peter Buck of R.E.M. who must have a lot of time on his hands), When I Pretend to Fall just falls flat.

Predictable as that line was, this record is even easier to predict. Out on the venerable Barsuk label, this is one of those bands that you can drop in conversation and have your cred meter shoot up. That doesn’t mean they’re the next coming. But damn you if you say how great the new WHITE STRIPES album is at a party. Was I reviewing something here? Oh yeah, THE LONG WINTERS…so the mellow acoustic rock flows steadily from track to track but none of the songs stand out on their own and Roderick’s bland, lilly-white take on Adam Duritz is fairly annoying. Hey, does anyone else out there think Recovering the Satellites and This Desert Life just get better as you get older? Besides myself, THE LONG WINTERS certainly do. “Scared Straight” seems to be the perfect COUNTING CROWS song. If only it had soul.

But unlike the pop sensibilities of COUNTING CROWS, the little indie band falls back on some swirling effects and ots of orchestration with little direction and even less that’s memorable. Add some weak lyrics and you have When I Pretend to Fall.

Indie Pick of the Week

THE RED HOT VALENTINES, Summer Fling (Polyvinyl Records)

I would expect people to retort to my ranting above with slamming my like of this pop-punk formatted little rock record. What’s the difference? Unlike THE LONG WINTERS, THE RED HOT VALENTINES aren’t pretending to be anything else than a pop-loving rock band from the Midwest. On their debut full-length, the band strengthens their presentation with some extra guitar power and figures out how to incorporate keyboards into the mix.

Throw them in with THE GET UP KIDS and other emo bands if you like, but a lot of these “emo” bands are simply playing pop music. They are allowed to play catchy songs from time to time. “This Heart of Mine” is as infuriating as any good hit single. And there is more than one stand out track on Summer Fling.

The band is smart to capitalize on the season reference as well. The release is perfectly timed for summer road trips and wasting time between semesters. Their only slight problem might be that their target audience is probably under 21 and can’t enjoy a beer at a show. For every person that can’t stand the ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS, there’s a potential fan of THE RED HOT VALENTINES. And that’s a very good thing.

The Perfect CD Collection

It’s cool and rainy out today so I figured I’d list some of my favorite gloomy weather discs. Obviously every CURE and SMITHS/Morrissey disc could be on here but I strive to break conventions.

PEARL JAM, No Code (Epic)

There is no better bad weather PEARL JAM disc than No Code. Grossly overlooked songs like "Present Tense," "In My Tree," "Sometimes" and "Off He Goes" are some of the band’s best work. The songs have a sense of melancholy to them as well that is not usually present in a PEARL JAM record.

PIGEONHED, The Full Sentence (SubPop)

A tremendously overlooked record. Shawn Smith of SATCHEL and BRAD fame tries on his electronic shoes for this dub project sans band. Every track is laden with beats but unlike with techno, they’re all down beats to match Smith’s uplifting soul-like vocals. It is the prettiest, most organic-sounding electronic album I’ve ever heard.

SMASHING PUMPKINS, Pisces Iscariot (Virgin)

This album proved that Billy Corgan’s nasally vocals could actually be pretty. There are a few rockers on here but it’s the laid-back tunes that impress me. The PUMPKINS covering "Landslide" is just a master stroke and fits more appropriately with Corgan’s shattered soul than it does with the DIXIE CHICKS mega-country `tude. I can’t believe I just referenced the DIXIE CHICKS...

A PERFECT CIRCLE, Mer De Noms (Virgin)

You gotta love prog metal. A PERFECT CIRCLE was the perfect idea as well. Getting Maynard to sing more “song”-like tunes instead of the assault from TOOL worked perfectly. Both bands are great at what they do but APC definitely fits into this list and adds a change of pace.

DINOSAUR JR., Without A Sound

I don’t know why, but you just can’t listen to J. Mascis when it’s nice out. He is a terrific songwriter but certainly wouldn’t fall into the uplifting category. I prefer Where You Been to this disc but I believe I’ve written about it before. And hey, a so-so DINOSAUR JR. album is still better than most.

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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