January 9, 2003
By Derek Miner
Why is everyone compelled to put together a bunch of lists come the beginning of a new year? I haven’t even looked at everyone else’s columns here at Movie Poop Shoot yet, but I’m betting that I’ll be sandwiched between Dequina’s “Best of 2002” and maybe Paul Tonks’ favorite movie scores of the year or Ian Bonds’ top games. Why are we drawn – nay, compelled – to wrap up the previous year in a tidy retrospective package?
Come closer, my friend, and I will give you the straight Poop.
It’s because we’re lazy. Okay, that’s not fair to all my Poop Shoot colleagues, but I can say without hesitation that I’m pretty fucking lazy. Year-end review columns present an opportunity for maximum content with minimum effort. Take this as an example: a movie critic makes a “best of” list out of movies he already viewed and formed his opinions about months ago. Now he can regurgitate material he already wrote and get a fair word count in a mere fraction of the time it usually takes to do an original column.
Here’s another one: we’re arrogant. When you’ve got a chance to present your opinions to a large audience in an uninterrupted format, by God, you do it! And we think we know better than you what’s good or bad, and we’re going to tell you!
Okay, now that I’ve given everyone plenty of reasons to not even read my column (or at least to hate my guts), I’ll throw you a curve. Today, I’m going to tell you about some books that I haven’t even read. Why? Because this is probably the only opportunity I will have to turn in a column without having to finish a single one of the books I’m planning to review (see reason #1 above). So here I go with…
The Best (Or Maybe Worst) Books For Reading More About It From 2002
Here’s a selection of tomes, all published within the previous twelve months, that I found notable or interesting in some fashion. They even fall into nice categories. Like…
So You’re Convinced You Live In THE MATRIX
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There were two books published last year that examine the underlying philosophy of the 1999 blockbuster, THE MATRIX. This is either proof that the film has become an official part of the sci-fi canon, or that publishers don’t have enough sense to hold a tie-in book until the release of THE MATRIX RELOADED later this year. THE REALITY WITHIN THE MATRIX by Kristenea M. LaVelle (Saxco Publishing, $8.99) appears to investigate the religious parallels of Neo’s story with that of Christ. My reason for suspecting this is the book’s cover, which features a large cross towering of three of the film’s main characters. A more ambiguous, tech-y cover adorns THE MATRIX AND PHILOSOPHY: WELCOME TO THE DESERT OF THE REAL, edited by William Irwin (Open Court Publishing Company, $17.95). Following in the footsteps of pervious books tied to SEINFELD and THE SIMPSONS, Irwin assembles a collection of essays that explore tenets of philosophy using examples from THE MATRIX. But if philosophy makes you lightheaded or you just want to relive movie itself, Newmarket Press released THE MATRIX: THE SHOOTING SCRIPT ($17.95) in 2002 as well. And it includes a fawning introduction by William Gibson, too!
You Still Haven’t Recovered From The Death of Kurt Cobain
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It was a good year for Nirvana fans. The stalemate between Courtney Love and Dave Grohl ended, and the first previously unheard NIRVANA song escaped the vaults. Also escaping from the vaults were various doodles and notes from the pen of Kurt Cobain himself, published in a ponderous 300-page volume titled, simply, JOURNALS (Riverhead Books, $29.95). Some fans have commented that the publication of such journals completely violates Cobain’s wishes. They wouldn’t buy the book, no. But reading it at the library or accepting it as a gift seems to be a fair pretense for violating those wishes. Those of us bereft of such hero worship issues might find it an intriguing glimpse at a talented and interesting individual who, unfortunately, had severe personal issues. A less chaotic portrait of Cobain as an artist might be found in the simply titled NIRVANA, a photo book by Steve Gullick and Stephen Sweet (Vision On, $24.95). One review on Amazon.com suggests that this book offers a portrait of the soul and energy that made Nirvana such an influential and popular band.
MTV Is More Than TV, It’s A Way Of Life
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The pop-culture grindhouse that is MTV stormed the publishing world in the last quarter of 2002, with four books released under their auspices in as many months. In some cases, I’m willing to bet I enjoyed reading the descriptions and reviews of these more than I would like the books anyway. First up is JACKASS THE MOVIE: THE OFFICIAL COMPANION BOOK by Sean Cliver (MTV Books, $15.95). “I’m not really into reading,” begins a five-star review at Amazon.com that seems so irony-free I can’t doubt its authenticity. Evidently, the book contains interviews, profiles of the JACKASS crew, stuff that didn’t make it to the movie and (wow!) color photos. Also out in October was MTV CRIBS: A GUIDED TOUR INSIDE THE HOMES OF YOUR FAVORITE STARS by Alison Pollet (MTV Books, $19.95). I found a description of the book over at BarnesAndNoble.com, including a list of some of the celebrities whose “cribs” are shown within the pages. If you ever wanted to see where Master P, Pamela Anderson, Ice-T or (get this!) Boy George kick back and relax, then this should have been on your Christmas list. I don’t know about you, but I think the world already knows enough about Pamela Anderson’s bedrooms, thank you very much. But wait, MTV CRIBS also offers “design tips” from architects and interior decorators. Somehow I’m thinking said “experts” are likely to offer design ideas that will forever evoke “bordello.” For celeb sighting beyond closed doors, you might check out MTV PHOTOBOOTH (Universe Books, $17.95), a pocket-sized collection of semi-candid celebrity photos. I guess MTV has one of those shopping-mall photobooths over at the TRL studios and every guest is asked to mug for a quartet of said images. Last, and likely least, we have MTV’S REAL WORLD: LAS VEGAS by K.M. Squires (MTV Books, $16.95), the companion book to the umpteenth season of seven strangers picked to live together, blah, blah, blah. (Why seven anyway? Are they hoping that the group will pair off in twos leaving the odd man or woman out to go ballistic and destroy the other roommates in a horny rage?) Honestly, I don’t watch THE REAL WORLD on principle, and I can get Vegas action all day long from The Channel Formerly Known as Travel, so I have no reason to read this book. Perhaps I should take the advice of the unidentified reviewer from New York City who suggested the REAL WORLD CHICAGO was much better book. But I think I’ll stick with the un-real world of the movie CHICAGO, thanks.
You Dig Celebrity Dirt
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Finally, I wanted to point out a couple of celebrity biographies I noticed while perusing the wealth of books published in 2002. MR. STRANGELOVE: A BIOGRAPHY OF PETER SELLERS by Ed Sikov (Hyperion, $27.95) attempts to sort out the enigma and comic genius that was Peter Sellers. I have to admit that there are a number of Sellers films I should have seen long ago; LOLITA and THE PARTY spring to mind. But I am always floored by the three amazingly different personas created by Sellers in Stanley Kubrick’s DR. STRANGELOVE. That alone piques my interest in this book. The reviews have been very positive, but some feel that Sikov relies too much on lurid second-hand details. On the other hand, reviews of Joe Pantoliano’s WHO’S SORRY NOW: THE TRUE STORY OF A STAND-UP GUY (E P Dutton, $23.95) promise lurid first-hand details from the life of… Joe Pantoliano. With David Evanier, the actor known affectionately as “Joey Pants” recalls his tough youth in various areas of New Jersey with his colorful Italian-American family. If the name isn’t familiar, you might look close at the man’s face. I’m betting you’ve seen him in plenty of films or TV shows, including the phenomenon that is THE SOPRANOS. Of course, I remember Joey Pants from all the way back in the mid-80s with THE GOONIES, and it’s always fun to spot him in films like THE FUGITIVE or MEMENTO. But you won’t find that part of his life in THE TRUE STORY OF A STAND-UP GUY. Some might think that a cop-out: a somewhat known actor writes a memoir and doesn’t even give us the dirt on his time in Hollywood? But I appreciate those who don’t do what’s expected, which colors my initial perception of this as a labor of love rather than a cash-in.
Or maybe that’s just me trying to rationalize writing an entire column about books I never read.
Coming up next time…
… I’ll actually tell you about some books I did read in 2002, and reveal a couple that I can’t believe I didn’t.
Derek Miner endured a two-week period where his roommate became addicted to THE REAL WORLD marathons, and nobody’s sure if he ever recovered.
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