By
Robert Meyer Burnett
Two weeks ago I was the Guest of Honor at a science-fiction convention in Minneapolis. Yes ... you read that right,
along with HOUSE OF THE DEAD writer-producer MARK A. ALTMAN and three other wonderful folks, I was the Guest of Honor
at CONvergence (http://www.convergence-con.org), the fourth annual event put on by the MISFITS (the Minnesota Society for Interest in Science Fiction and Fantasy). MISFITS is a non-profit organization, dedicated to celebrating the appreciation of, and interest in, Science Fiction and Fantasy in all of its permutations.
Now, you folks with visions of Roger Nygard's admittedly amusing documentary TREKKIES dancing through your minds can just strike them from your memory. Those who attend CONvergence don't wear pointed ears and Starfleet uniforms, although to be fair, the hearty Klingon crew of the IKV RakeHell were in attendance. The members of MISFITS are a motley crew to be sure, made up of computer programmers, professional corporate types, comic-book artists, theater folk and Renaissance Faire participants. Imagine the cast of Romero's KNIGHTRIDERS, Guest's WAITING FOR GUFFMAN, Smith's CHASING AMY, THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW and any episode of HBO's REAL SEX series and you'd begin to get an idea of the colorful folks we're talking about here. Sure, some of them can quote DR. WHO episodes verbatim, but they'll kick your ass in a good round of Dance Dance Revolution then take you up to the sixteenth floor to get your freak on. Just what you want from a great sci-fi convention.
Frankly, other than the stupendous annual fan orgy that is the San Diego Comic-Con, the WorldCon or Atlanta's always amusing DragonCon, I'd almost given up hope of ever again attending a worthwhile regional sci-fi convention. Growing up in Seattle, I used to live for such gatherings. Cons served to stoke my own interest in science fiction, horror and fantasy in such a way as to further my own belief that I'd someday be able to actually create the same kind of material I loved watching and reading. I'd meet some of my heroes, whether authors or filmmakers, hear them speak and take their stories and advice to heart. I learned lessons that provided an understanding that eventually led to finally crossing that deep and wide chasm between fan and professional. After attending a great gathering of like-minded sci-fi media enthusiasts, I felt empowered knowing I wasn't the only person in the world who loved this stuff as much as I did. I can't stress how important such a realization was while facing the soul-crushing onslaught of adolescence.
Luckily, the Pacific Northwest sported a number of great sci-fi organizations. We had the PSST, the Puget Sound Star Trekkers, once the largest Trek organization in the world, who could put on a sci-fi bake sale and keep it interesting. We had the One Reel Vaudeville Show and their annual "Sci Fi Expo," which brought to town everyone from Harlan Ellison to BLADE RUNNER archivist Paul Sammon. One year, I was so sick, my father Dick Burnett went down and bought me a painting at the art show that I used for space backdrops in my Super 8 films for years to come. I remember publicist Eddie Egan, at the 1984 Norwescon, telling me he'd send me tickets to the Seattle all-media screening of STAR TREK III. Sure enough, a few months later, an envelope arrived from Paramount Pictures and I was lucky enough to be among the first to experience the death of the Enterprise. Conventions really meant something in those days.
Lately however, convention-going just hasn't been the same. Maybe one can blame the Internet, but independently produced sci-fi gatherings just don't muster the support they once used to garner. While well-intentioned promoters do their best, many local conventions can't get the turnout required to make them worthwhile, even with such highly acclaimed guests as Neil Gaiman.
But the folks who put on CONvergence are a truly a breed apart. They're like the Knights of the Round Table, once a year for three days creating a Camelot for geeks. And I mean that with the utmost respect.
Highly organized and motivated, with an attention to detail rivaled only by a Stanley Kubrick film set, the crazies who put on CONvergence do everything from staging hilarious performance art pieces, like interpretive Star Wars dance numbers set to an early-sixties beat-poetry vibe, to a masquerade recreating the entire "Can Can Can" number from MOULIN ROUGE. Local bands, a blood drive, a free coffee house and the world's greatest convention film room, Cinema Rex, presided over by a blow-up T-Rex, are also all part of the equation. For three days, it's just one gigantic celebration of the human imagination. Although, for the life of me, I still don't understand why they can't figure out how to make it a five-day con.
Each year, MISFITS picks a theme for their con. This year's CONvergence theme came from the spirit of adventure singularly personified by the Indiana Jones films, culminating with Marcus Brody's memorable tag line "It's like nothing you've ever gone after before ..." Not to be outdone, the con was also bursting at the seams with programming and events reflecting science fiction and fantasy in all media. Other Guests of Honor included artist Nene Thomas and the hard-partying husband-and-wife team of authors Diane Duane and Peter Morwood.
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And if you're a guest, my god, do they roll out the red carpet. As soon as we arrived, renowned comic artist and convention organizer Christopher Jones presented each guest with a personalized, laminated ID badge sporting amazing artwork completed by Mr. Jones himself. Knowing of my fondness for the Classic Trek episode "Mirror, Mirror," my badge featured myself dressed as the Mirror Kirk with a very sexy Uhura draped over my shoulder.
Mark and I were obviously chosen to represent our feature collaboration FREE ENTERPRISE, although we've both done much in the intervening years to increase our desirability as con guests. We were approached two years ago at the San Diego Comic-Con by always-smiling MISFITS board member Perrin Klumpp, who kind of resembles a tall hobbit with great teeth. He came up to us after our annual "Is Star Trek Dead?" panel and asked us if we'd be guests at his con. I've always made it a point to do whatever someone named Klumpp asks me to do, so I said "Sure, dude. I'm there." Two years later, we wound up in Prince's hometown.
Now, rather than bring our significant others, Mark and I decided to bring some friends who'd appreciate the con as much as we would. So, we chose to bring Emmy Award-winning Visual Effects artist Mojo, who was also a producer on the recent ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI DVD, and Daren Dochterman, Visual Effects supervisor for the recent STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE Director's Cut. The convention staff, much to our bemusement, took to calling us the Four Horsemen. For the record, I was Death. Between the four of us, I figured our collective experience would definitely give convention-goers their money's worth.
But for guests such as ourselves, it's the personalities we meet that we'll always remember. CONvergence has absolutely the most colorful I can remember. There's resident ball of fire and MISFITS board member Windy Merrill. If you can imagine a cross between LIQUID SKY's Anne Carlisle and THE FOURTH MAN's Renee Soutendijk, with a bit of Columbia from the ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW thrown in for good measure, you might be halfway toward understanding the essence that is Windy. That is ... if you can actually find her. She tends to get lost in large crowds.
There's Jeremy Stomberg, a whip-smart freak of nature who ran for Minneapolis city council using a modified EMPIRE STRIKES BACK logo on all his campaign posters. He didn't win, but heck, I'd have voted for him. He's got the Empire's Imperial insignia tattooed on one shoulder and some of Boba Fett's signage tattooed on the other. He could probably tell you the lineage of Naboo's entire royal family back six hundred years.
The Wick family, Tim and Pat, clearly the heart of this bunch, probably used to run around yelling "Wonder Twin Powers ... activate!" before they ever got married. Come to think of it ... who am I kidding? I'm sure they never stopped saying "Wonder Twin powers ... activate!" I found Tim's obsession with Indiana Jones rather endearing. I'm sure in certain instances, he really is a radio for speaking to God.
Other folks I won't soon forget include my minder Jody the Librarian, who looks amazing in a corset and knows where the best burgers are. Anton the Geek Boy, about whom Mojo joked "Whereever we go, there he is," and MISFIT board member Ishmael Williams, who had the unenviable task of telling his guests of honor that "they suck" in front of hundreds of people.
Then there's the group "Soylent Theater (Made of People)." Five guys, Tim Uren, Kelvin Hatle, Joseph Scrimshaw, Joshua Scrimshaw and Zvie Razieli, who combine the Firesign Theater with The Kids in the Hall but with a sci-fi sensibility, if you can imagine that. And apparently one of those Scrimshaw boys married a really hot chick who looks like Sela Ward. At least she did from down in the audience. The Sci-Fi Channel should contact them immediately and give them a weekly, half-hour variety show. Better yet, I should produce the show and sell it to the Sci-Fi Channel. Find them at soylent@soylent-theater.com. Believe me, you haven't lived until you've seen these guys perform live.
Zvie Razieli also ran the Cinema Rex Movie Room, easily the best Convention Film Room I've ever seen. Stocked with plush couches, free popcorn and candy and an incredible projection and sound system, Cinema Rex even pays a licensing fee to the studios to show their films publicly! Not only that, but they even hang up their one-sheets with clips instead of tacks, so as not to damage the really valuable ones. Any film room with one-sheets of my wife's favorite film BARBARELLA and DAWN OF THE DEAD deserves special praise. They even had Mark and I do an actual live commentary track while FREE ENTERPRISE played. On a rather sad note, Cinema Rex eerily scheduled John Frankenheimer's SECONDS on the actual day the famed director passed away.
So, for anyone looking to rediscover why you love sci-fi, fantasy and horror in all of its many forms, I suggest you book your ticket now and plan to spend a fun Fourth of July weekend with the MISFITS at CONvergence 2003.
Personal Note to S Coppock - Member 3039: Dude, I'm in total agreement with you. Thanks for the thoughtful comments on last week's column.
REMEMBER:
The STAR WARS - THE ORIGINAL VISION bootleg DVD contest is still running! Check out past columns for details! The competition is really heating up!
NEXT WEEK: At the behest of his father and brother, Robert Meyer Burnett refrains from self-aggrandizement and returns to the topic of Special Edition DVD production.
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