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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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FOREST OF DEAD TREES

By Kendra Hibbert

February 21, 2003

The Internet is a funny thing in books these days. The technology of it is too new to have it appear nonchalantly in the narrative like the telephone or the automobile. Though millions of people use the World Wide Web every day for e-mail, news and book reviews (and I’ve heard rumors of a handful of people using it to download the occasional pornographic image) most writers have chosen to completely ignore the phenomenon, making their characters blissfully unaware that such a thing exists. There are some however, who have elected to embrace the ‘net - coddle and fondle it and make it theirs. Such is the case with cyber-punk granddaddy William Gibson and up and coming sci-fi newcomer Cory Doctorow with their new works of fiction.

PATTERN RECOGNITION is William Gibson’s first novel not set in the future, but don’t let that fool you into believing this is a departure from his previous work. As always the strange, other-worldliness of the every day comes through in Gibson’s writing. There are no standard sci-fi elements in this book but there is a tinge of magic realism (a sign of a truly post-modern novelist) a surreal look at every day life with some bizarre elements thrown in for a dreamlike atmosphere. Our heroine Cayce Pollard, for example, has a violent allergy to trademarked logos, (the Michelin Man produces the biggest reaction) her father Win has been missing and presumed dead after inexplicably traveling to New York the morning of September 11, 2001 and now he speaks to her Mother from beyond the grave and to Cayce herself in dreams, helping her uncover the mystery she soon finds her life entangled in.

Said mystery is the identity of the person who has been using the internet to release footage from a filmic work-in-progress. People known as “Footageheads” have been following the progression of this movie with cult like fascination and attention to detail, yet no one has yet been able to figure out who the director of this strange narrative is – that is until Cayce is hired by the head of a marketing firm to find the culprit knowing that if anyone can find the responsible party it’s her since she’s been blessed with the uncanny ability to “hunt cool” - find the next big thing to hit the market and reveal it for whomever her client is. Cayce is a “Footagehead” herself and is torn between her wish to keep this unworldly pseudo movie underground and her desire to find the man behind the lens before someone else exposes him to the world and the magic is gone.

Set very much in a technological world, Cayce is given an expense account and uses it to fly from London to Taiwan, back to London and onto Russia while constantly keeping in touch with her friends from the Footage website. Gibson doesn’t fall into the trap of using the Internet as a glorified telephone – he plays with the metaphor of the ‘net to tell a story of an isolated yet strong character who has found friends through the website message board from all over the world who help her solve her mystery. He tells a very personal story within these pages and one with many resonating images and characters that feel very real and very internet friendly.

Also very internet friendly is a (relative) newcomer to the Sci-Fi world Cory Doctorow – whose presence is all over the web and whose previous non-fiction publishings include articles for Wired magazine, an O’Reilly book on Blogs, and a co-authorship of THE COMPLETE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO PUBLISHING SCIENCE FICTION AND FANTASY. He’s also the man behind www.craphound.com – his personal site and the place where he’s decided to publish free for the public his first Sci-Fi novel DOWN AND OUT IN THE MAGIC KINGDOM.

Given Doctorow’s background it’s no wonder this book is full of tons and tons of technology. The story takes place in a world where they’ve cured death and people walk around with a virtual karmic scoreboard (called “Whuffie”) anyone else can “ping” to take a look at and which they can use to acquire goods with. The result is most of society lives a permanent “college years” existence – most in their lifetime make a movie or two, experiment with drugs (which fortunately have evolved to the point that crack now comes in decaf form), travel the world and the various planets and sometimes when life gets too boring and predictable (which immortality is bound to cause) they go “deadhead” for a few decades – that is preserve their brain somewhere until an appointed time when they will be transplanted back into a clone body to live out a few more years.

The story follows Julius, the narrator, his friend Keep A-Movin’ Dan (whom he met while completing his Forth Doctorate) and girlfriend Lil all living as part of a group of caretakers to Disneyland. They find themselves in the middle of a battle for the Theme Park against a passionate group of programmers vying for the chance to re-vamp various Magic Kingdom rides. Soon the only traditional ride left is the Haunted Mansion which Julius and his pals must spruce up for the new (future) age before these diabolical programmers can get their hands on it. What’s worse is these rivals have made a play for Julius – he suspects they were behind his vicious murder (fortunately he was brought back to life from a backup he’d made) and knows they’re capable of much more sinister deeds. Will Julius be able to save the last surviving traditional Disneyland ride or will the last remnants of Walt’s Utopia be re-vamped by new fangled technology?

Doctorow’s raw writing style is not mainstream but definitely not B-grade either. This book is short (fits into 80 pages of Word) and chock full of mind-blowing concepts of a hypothetical future. It reminded me of Gary Wolf’s WHO CENSORED ROGER RABBIT? (inspiration for the Zemekis movie) with a bit of Philip K. Dick thrown in for good measure. In other words a high concept story that brings up some interesting philosophical concepts and ideas you can ponder on sleepless and/or mind altered nights.

The greatest feature of this book is it’s completely free on the internet (though you can by the hard copy version for around $16) and the author absolutely endorses downloading the book without paying him. As he explains in the introduction to the completely free copy, most first time authors have a hard time selling their book anyway so he’d rather just get by on word of mouth and what better way to spread the word than by offering a product for absolutely no money. So far, his site says, there have been over 75,000 downloads in the first month – which ‘taint bad especially for a first time novel. What’s best about all of this is that unlike a lot of over-hyped publishing/internet crossovers (like Stephen King’s RIDING THE BULLET) this story is actually worth reading. Jump on over to craphound.com, maybe if you have the money to spend buy a book just to prove to the publishing industry that stunts like this actually work and support a guy who obviously likes this internet thing as much as you do.

Next Column: I’ve decided to pull my own publicity stunt and start giving out random awards to books in categories I just made up. In two weeks I’ll be looking at The Most Popular Book Read While On Public Transit (Yann Martel’s THE LIFE OF PI) and The Book With the Best Introduction Written On the Cover (YOU SHALL KNOW OUR VELOCITY by Dave Eggers). Still up for grabs is the award in the category Best Free Book Some Publisher Sends My Way That I Don’t Have to Beg for Since No One Thinks I’m Serious Writing for a Site Called Moviepoopshoot.com. Competition for that category will rival the Oscars – you’ll see.

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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