By Chris Ryall
Monday, June 16
V.I.P. -- 9 PAM, Spike
With this show's airing, TNN officially changes their name to Spike TV and...oh, wait, not now they don't. Seems Johnny Cochran helps murderers and loud-mouthed and desperate-for-attention directors alike.
OUTRAGEOUS CELEBRITY LOOK-ALIKE BEHAVIOR: CAUGHT ON TAPE -- 8 PM, Fox
Yeah, I bet it was tough to catch celebrity impersonators on tape...they're so elusive when cameras are around. Can I get a viewer look-alike and just skip this bad idea the same way the actual celebrities did?
ANYTHING FOR LOVE -- 9 PM, Fox
Debut! A reality show for and about people who obviously couldn't care less about their relationship.
MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE: THE JOAN BROCK STORY -- 9 PM, Lifetime
This is a movie about a woman who loses her sight, and then her husband. The good part about the blindness is that she couldn't see just how shallow the guy turned out to be.
MEET MY FOLKS -- 10 PM, NBC
Return! This debut was postponed from an earlier date, but I'm curious how we can find a way to keep postponing it for a later and later date.
100 GREATEST SONGS OF THE LAST 25 YEARS -- 10 PM, VH1
Yes, unfortunately the last 25 years encompasses the 80s, so expect a lot of bad, tinny synth-pop and dance music.
THE AMC PROJECT: REALITY PEOPLE -- 10 PM, AMC
You've had it with reality shows. You flip from the networks to something highbrow like AMC. You find...a show that looks back at previous reality show contestants and what's happened to them since their show ended.
THE OFFICE -- 10 PM, BBC America
Somehow when the Brits savage each other in comedies, like this one about office workers, it sounds charming because of the accents. Three episodes of this show per night air all week long.
ORLANDO JONES -- 11 PM, FX
Debut! The comedian/7-Up pitchman gives the talk-show thing a try, including having a DJ and performing skits. I have to say, I think the guy's worth at least a look.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: TBD
The Late Show with David Letterman: Hillary Clinton
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Cedric the Entertainer, Cold
The Jimmy Kimmel Show: TBD
Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Andy Richter, Snoop Dogg, Brian “Rocket Guy” Walker
The Late, Late Show with Craig Kilborn: Orlando Jones
Last Call with Carson Daly: Mike Tyson, Idlewild (R)
Tuesday, June 17
SUNSHINE STATE -- 7:30 PM, Cinemax
John Sayles' movies are never for everyone, but if you're a fan of his work, this is definitely worth a look, just for Edie Falco's performance alone.
LAST COMIC STANDING -- 9 PM, NBC
Phyllis Diller is among the old-timers who try to give advice to these new comics. At this point, I think it's safe to say that Phyllis won't be the last one standing, or even the last one awake (I'm not above a cheap age joke every now and then).
STAR DATES -- 9 PM, E!
Season Premiere! More adventures with celebs who can't figure out how to use their status to get laid. Tonight, Fred "Rerun" Berry takes his shot.
SCARFACE -- 9 PM, Spike
Hmm...cheesecake TV shows, cartoons about stripper superheroines and this classic movie...the new Spike at least seems more interesting than the old TNN.
I'M WITH BUSEY -- 10 PM, Comedy Central
Debut! You might be asking why a fading actor like Gary Busey now has a reality show where the cameras follow him around. The answer is, because Jan-Michael Vincent couldn't be counted on to show up every week.
LUCKY -- 10 PM, FX
John Corbett won't be going on STAR DATES any time soon, as he cast his current girlfriend, BO DEREK, in tonight's episode. I guess it helps to have a current show, not a 30-year-old one.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: TBD
The Late Show with David Letterman: Rob Reiner
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Eric Bana
The Jimmy Kimmel Show: TBD
Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Magic Johnson, Tom Green, Jim Gaffigan
The Late, Late Show with Craig Kilborn: TBD
Last Call with Carson Daly: Longwave
Wednesday, June 18
BOARDING HOUSE: NORTH SHORE -- 8 PM, WB
Debut! No, this new WB show is NOTHING like the one on MTV. That one revolves around surfer girls all competing against one another and living together. This one...well, it's exactly the same thing. Never mind.
PARADISE HOTEL -- 9 PM, Fox
Debut! Hey, another new reality show with vacuous idiots sniping at each other. Only, this time new people will be added to the show and...yeah, you're right, I could care less, too.
MAKING THE BAND -- 10 PM, MTV
Season Premiere! You know, I'm fine with Sean Combs until he actually opens his mouth. Unfortunately, he does that here, as last season's winners meet him and a new crop of performers starts auditioning.
KISS OF DEATH -- 11:30 PM, FX
Oh, David Caruso, how right this title was until CBS and CSI decided to spare you from further oblivion.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: TBD
The Late Show with David Letterman: Christine Todd Whitman, Luke Wilson
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Bernie Mac, Dwight Yoakam
The Jimmy Kimmel Show: TBD
Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Dale Earnhardt Jr., O.A.R.
The Late, Late Show with Craig Kilborn: Jewel
Last Call with Carson Daly: Ludacris
Thursday, June 19
DUMB AND DUMBER -- 8 PM, WB
Before you skip the prequel in theaters, you can see the original and watch Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels's romance bloom on-screen.
EVENT HORIZON -- 9 PM, Sci Fi
Before really taking off in THE MATRIX, this looked like the kind of movie Laurence Fishburne was fated to do for the rest of his career.
NEXT FRIDAY -- 9 PM, USA
Next Thursday, I hope USA shows the original movie, because at least that one was funny...
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: TBD
The Late Show with David Letterman: Sarah Jessica Parker, the Dead
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Drew Barrymore, Mark Valley, Justin Timberlake
The Jimmy Kimmel Show: TBD
Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Kim Catrall, Eric Bana
The Late, Late Show with Craig Kilborn: Dwight Yoakim
Last Call with Carson Daly: Jamie Kennedy, Nick Swardson, David Banner
Friday, June 20
FIRESTORM -- 8 PM, FX
Ex-Raider Howie Long proves that those Radio Shack commercials aren't a fluke--he really IS that stiff and wooden, even in this overheated action flick.
THE INVISIBLE MAN -- 8 PM, TCM
Want to watch a 70-year-old movie and still be entertained? Then check out Claude Rains in this James Whale-directed horror flick.
LIVE BY REQUEST -- 9 PM, A&E
If I could request which song I'd like tonight's guest, B.B. King, to play, the show would run until sometime tomorrow afternoon. Jeff Beck shows up to play with B.B., too.
DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE -- 9:15 PM, TCM
If you liked THE INVISIBLE MAN, why not keep the old horror classics rolling and give this a shot, too. If you need added incentive, it stars Spencer Tracy, Ingrid Bergman and Lana Turner.
MONK -- 10 PM, USA
Season Premiere! Tony Shaloub's obsessive compulsive dick is back, and to get ready for this show, I plan to wash my hands five times in a row.
NEW EPISODES -- 10:30 PM, Sci Fi
On this start of new episodes, Ashton Kutcher finds his show concept getting punk'd by Doherty and Co. Then again, Alan Funt hates all of these people.
DRESSED TO KILL -- 10 PM, Bravo
Critics can debate whether this was a good movie or just a shamless Hitchcock rip-off. But all I knew is, as a 10-year-old, the elevator scene freaked me out beyond compare.
The Late Show with David Letterman: TBD
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Matt LeBlanc, Karolina Kurkova, Pink
The Jimmy Kimmel Show: TBD
Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Luke Wilson, Solomon Burke
The Late, Late Show with Craig Kilborn: TBD
Last Call with Carson Daly: Cheri Oteri, Jack Hanna, Jewel
Saturday, June 21
MOST EXTREME ELIMINATION CHALLENGE -- 9:30 PM, Spike
Is this even worth mentioning right now? At "press time," Spike Lee had frozen this channel's name change, so who knows how this bogus injunction will affect programming. But I guess the important thing is that Spike Lee's name is back in the news.
RONIN -- 10 PM, TBS
If you're anxious for some good DeNiro before Monday's AFI celebration on USA...well, go rent something. Beyond the car chase, and the movie's mention in Dave Eggers' last book, this movie's not so impressive.
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE—11:30 PM, NBC
Host Bernie Mac, musical guest Good Charlotte (R)
Sunday, June 22
SECOND NATURE -- 8 PM, TNT
Alec Baldwin is a guy with amnesia who wakes up one day and can't figure out how he seemingly morphed into his older brother Daniel. Watch to mock the political Baldwin, but stay for the Powers Booth sighting.
SEX AND THE CITY -- 9 PM, HBO
Season Premiere! The sixth and final season of these golden girls gets under way here, and the only real mystery to be cleared up is whether or not Mr. Big and Carrie end up together (I'm guessing no).
DOGGY FIZZLE TELEVIZZLE -- 10 PM, MTV
Debut! I dare you to tell your parents, or any English major, the name of this show and watch their head explode.
PROJECT: GREENLIGHT -- 10:30 PM, HBO
Season Premiere! Well, the one thing you can count on with this show is that it'll be more interesting than the resulting movie that comes out, if the first season was any indication.
WHO'S GOT GAME -- 10:30 PM, MTV
Debut! 12 street ballers take their best shot at hitting a $100,000 cash prize, while erstwhile talk-show host and former baller Magic Johnson look on.
All show times Pacific Standard Time and all opinions are getting a makeover.
Chris Ryall
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