By Chris Ryall
Monday, February 6
PARENTAL CONTROL -- 5:30 PM, MTV
Debut: Parents try to set their kid up with someone that seems like a better fit than their current hang. Which is guaranteed to drive their kid into the arms of an ex-con.
DATE MY MOM -- 6 PM, MTV
Season Premiere: Hey, MILF-lovers, this one's for you.
24 -- 9 PM, Fox
Jack Bauer didn't kill anyone last week, did he? He's off his pace of killing no less than 24 people per workday, so he better get back on track this hour.
OVERHAULIN' -- 9 PM, Discovery
No new MONSTER GARAGE for another month, so instead you get this replacement car-makeover show, because living without a car makeover show for the night is evidently out of the question.
100 GREATEST TEEN STARS -- 9 PM, VH-1
Here's a list of some of the people who won't be profiled here: Cousin Oliver from THE BRADY BUNCH; the one brother of MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE who's not Dewey or the oldest one; Luke's new daughter on GILMORE GIRLS; Screech; the horny midget virgin from Andy Richter's last show... come to think of it, there's way more than 100 NON-great teen stars. Why don't they get their own miniseries?
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: TBD
The Late Show with David Letterman: Harrison Ford
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Terry Bradshaw
The Jimmy Kimmel Show: James Blunt
Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Martha Stewart, Big Show, Death Cab for Cutie
The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson: TBD
Last Call with Carson Daly: TBD
Tuesday, February 7
GET THIS PARTY STARTED -- 8 PM, UPN
Debut: Get this teen soap cancelled before the changeover to the CW, more likely. Sorry, Kristin Cavallari, but you know this show's got to go.
SCRUBS -- 9 PM, NBC
You know how the episodes of ENTOURAGE featuring Mandy Moore caused that show's momentum to hit a screeching halt? Well, she shows up here for two episodes, thanks to her boyfriend, Zach Braff, and yet I trust it here, since this show even used Tara Reid to good effect.
HOUSE -- 9 PM, Fox
Sela Ward leaves the show tonight. Way ahead of you, Sela.
CRUMBS -- 9:30 PM, ABC
Martin Mull shows up here tonight, and while Martin Mull is a funny guy, and will no doubt make this show better, he'd still do well to avoid really bad sitcoms like this one.
THE SHIELD -- 10 PM, FX
This is the last season, right? I just think Forest Whitaker is too quietly bad-ass to let the dirty cops go free for yet another year. You don't mess with Ghost Dog, man.
MEET THE BARKERS -- 10 PM, MTV
Season Finale: Meet a new Barker tonight, as they have their kid. And Travis, if you're smart, I'd recommend getting the band back together for at least the next month or so...
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: TBD
The Late Show with David Letterman: Beyonce
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Ellen DeGeneres, Gordon Ramsey, Yellowcard
The Jimmy Kimmel Show: TBD
Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Harrison Ford, KT Tunstall
The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson: TBD
Last Call with Carson Daly: TBD
Wednesday, February 8
THE GRAMMY AWARDS -- 8 PM, CBS
Kanye, talk about the music, and only about the music, please. Oh, and don't wear big white wings or a crown of thorns, either, this time. Not that Grammy usually deserves it, but a little less hubris and a little more decorum isn't such a bad thing.
VERONICA MARS -- 9 PM, NBC
Well, Ronnie, congrats on making the cut to the CW. I kinda doubt many of your channel-mates are going to do the same, though.
LOST -- 9 PM, ABC
How many of you recognized the bearded leader of the Others? No? Here's a hint: he used to work in Hazard County, under a white-clad Boss. Middle initial is "P." Anyone got it yet?
BONES -- 9 PM, WB
That's quite a lead-in you've given this show, Fox, an hour of some attention-seeking morons warbling at a terribly off-key pitch. Nicely done.
ALIAS -- 12 AM, TNT
Before it goes away for good, you have a chance to catch the entire show again (outside of DVD, I mean), starting with the pilot here tonight. This morning. Whatever.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: TBD
The Late Show with David Letterman: TBD
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: The Fray
The Jimmy Kimmel Show: Dwight Yoakam
Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Sigur Ros
The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson: TBD
Last Call with Carson Daly: TBD
Thursday, February 9
JOAN & MELISSA GRAMMY AWARDS FASHION WRAP -- 7 PM, TV Guide
It's so much easier to ignore these two when they don't even broadcast on the day of the event. Or on a channel that anyone watches.
CSI -- 9 PM, CBS
If you're a big fan of Marissa's mom on THE O.C., you might want to set the TiVo here, since she returns here to do the dominatrix thing again.
MY NAME IS EARL -- 9 PM, NBC
Marcia Marcia Marcia Brady--the one that married Ben Stiller, not the older one--goes lowbrow tonight. Well, since she's playing a college professor, she's not really lowbrow, compared to, say, Joy.
BEAUTY AND THE GEEK -- 9 PM, WB
Not sure what to watch on Thursdays at 9? Let me help you: "tonight: strip poker."
DANCING WITH THE STARS -- 9 PM, ABC
People are really talking about the Lachey brother as being impressive on this show? Don't they know that if he was impressive at anything, he wouldn't be on a crap show like this?
THE O.C. -- 9 PM, Fox
This show's so far hitting the same wall as DAWSON'S CREEK, in that no new cast members have worked out. I guess that's why Samaire Armstrong's coming back to the show, and why they're trying out the girl from THIRTEEN, a movie I will never watch now that I have a daughter.
THE OFFICE -- 9:30 PM, NBC
Michael and Jan are in New York tonight, and yet I'm much more interested in seeing the office do a grade-school-like Valentine's Day. Sorry, Charlie Bro--er, Dwight.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: TBD
The Late Show with David Letterman: TBD
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Michelle Williams, Rob Thomas
The Jimmy Kimmel Show:Damian Marley
Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Nicolette Sheridan, Aimee Mann
The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson: TBD
Last Call with Carson Daly: TBD
Friday, February 10
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT -- 8 PM, Fox
Series Finale: There's no need to mention anything else on tonight. Because there's not anything else on tonight. Don't let the hype on NBC fool you--there's nothing more mind-numbing than to watch the pomp and pageantry that they're passing off as a once-in-a-lifetime moment. Hardly; it's a once-every-four-years moment, and those moments aren't so captivating anyway. Instead, this show, which ends its three-year run on Fox tonight, with the final four unaired episodes being burned off here tonight so Fox can bring you more clever shows about washed-up celebrities falling on their faces. A show of this quality is much rarer than any opening ceremonies. So at least help send this show off with some decent viewership, which might convince Showtime to work just a little harder to sign up Mitch Hurwitz and company to move the show there. This seems to be a week of endings, and since I was able to visit the set of ARRESTED early on in its first season thanks to this site, somehow it's appropriate that my time here and the show's time at Fox are both ending this week. Here's hoping they make a swift return, too.
The Late Show with David Letterman: TBD
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Paul Walker
The Jimmy Kimmel Show: Dr. Travis Storck
Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Graham Bensinger
The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson: TBD
Last Call with Carson Daly: TBD
Saturday, February 11
THE OLYMPICS -- 12 PM, NBC
Okay, now you're clear to watch NBC's 38 hours of coverage in every 24-hour period (don't ask me how they pull that off). Although this is women's hockey, so make your plans accordingly.
HOUSE OF THE DEAD 2 -- 9 PM, Sci Fi
Not sure why, but I have much more contempt for this movie than I do Sci Fi's made-for-cable flicks about mansquitos, giant bugs or flesh-eating, flying chinchilas (that one's in the works, I'm sure).
AUSTIN CITY LIMITS -- 9 PM, PBS
Season Finale: DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE and MY MORNING JACKET close out the season. The 31st season, so this show is definitely older than most DEATH CAB fans. Or the band members themselves.
CROSSROADS -- 9 PM, CMT
If you don't like the music coming from Austin and want a little more bluesy twang, here's some Bonnie Raitt and Lyle Lovett.
COUPLING LOVE-IN -- 10 PM, BBC America
Don't dislike this show because NBC couldn't do an American version well; dislike it because it's a FRIENDS retread with a few more risque jokes thrown in. For those who don't dislike it, here's a little block of shows tonight, with nine more running tomorrow as of 2 PM.
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- 11:30 PM, NBC
*Pre-empted for the Olympics
Sunday, February 12
THE OLYMPICS -- 7 PM, NBC
Bode Miller and others hit the slopes tonight. At press time, there was no final descision on which drinks would be served during the downhill.
INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO -- 8 PM, Bravo
I think James Lipton has gotten a bit off-track here. He's interviewing Dave Chappelle, a guy who starred on THE DAVE CHAPPELLE SHOW, about acting. I look forward to the interview with Katie Couric next.
AMERICAN DAD -- 9:30 PM, Fox
The only thing unfunnier than watching this show once is watching a repeat of it tonight. So I don't recommend you do it.
Note: This will be my final TV RECOMMENDATIONS column in this space, but the column will live on. Click here for the whole story and where I'm taking 'er. Hopefully see you there!
All show times Pacific Standard Time and all opinions will see you soon at www.comics101.com.
Chris Ryall
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