By Scott Bowden
March 3, 2005
KFR Heat Lamp: The Rock rolls into New York City, Scott Bowden marks out over Monday’s bloody Angle, and WWE goes Hollywood Hogan.
Rock rolling: The Rock conquered New York City this week, highlighted by a charming appearance on THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN. He’s clearly no longer the novelty act of wrestler-turned-actor—he’s a legit Hollywood performer, with the comedy role in BE COOL likely to put him in the running for a wide range of new roles. In fact, Letterman never brought up WWE, mentioning only briefly that Rock was a wrestler at some point.
Quite frankly, I never bought him as the action hero—he was stiff as the board he was carrying in WALKING TALL. The clips from BE COOL show that comedy really brings out the best in his personality, much like his appearance on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE. He looks so comfortable in his scenes with Harvey Keitel and Vince Vaughn, almost as if they were Mick Foley and Vince McMahon. Yes, The Rock’s certainly come a long way from the Big One Expo Center in Memphis, the flea market building in which I used to lay the smack down on his candy ass.
RAW emotion: The angle following Monday’s RAW main event between Shawn Michaels and Edge brought back memories of the glory days of ’98 to 2000, a time period when the company regularly featured hot television. (Incidentally, credit WWE for avoiding too many close-ups of HBK after he administered a blade job that would make Tommy Rich wince. Quite a gusher. Oh, well—good for the business, right?) Kurt Angle made his first appearance on RAW in about three years and made it count, attacking HBK post-match in his civvies, brutalizing him with a textbook overhead suplex and the Uncle Slam. (OK, OK, it was the Olympic Slam—but I still think my name for his finisher is catchier.) And with Shawn’s bloody, heartbroken carcass prone in the ring, Angle accepts his challenge for a match at WrestleMania.
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The highlight: Angle, smeared with HBK’s blood, makes his way into the crowd. As the show closes, the camera closes in on the maniacal Angle, who screams, “Yeeeahhh!” Wonderful television. Problem is, WWE TV used to have memorable show-ending moments like that week to week. SPOILER ALERT: If you don’t want to know info about tonight’s SMACKDOWN!, then stop right where you are. Now, skip down to the next clever headline, and proceed. Good.
Now, HBK does return the favor tonight on UPN, attacking Angle while disguised as a cameraman. I like this because it shows Michaels isn’t above resorting back to Generation-X-like dastardly means to get his revenge. This is shaping up to be one for the ages: Two of the greatest performers of the last 15 years meeting for the first time on PPV. This could very well be the show-stealer if not the show-stopper at WrestleMania, i.e., this year’s Steamboat/Savage clash that everyone raves about years later. I’m hooked.
SIDE-NOTE SLAM: I hate to nitpick (whom I am kidding?), but Monday’s angle would have been more effective had Angle interfered prior to the finish to cost Michaels the match. Edge and Christian work their asses off week in and week out, yet rarely get a win—even a screw-job pinfall—to have any kind of heat. You can say wins and losses don’t matter as much nowadays but that’s only because fans have been conditioned to that philosophy. Other than that, it was perfect.
WWE goes Hollywood Hogan: As expected, Hulk Hogan (screw Marvel), the crown jewel of the WWE ’80s cartoon/expansion era, will join his cohorts from that time period to be inducted in the WWE Hall of Fame. No word yet on whether he’ll be wrestling the following night, but he’s almost certain to be involved in the ring somehow. This was long overdue, as you can’t really have a HOF without Hogan, no matter my personal feeling toward him. (Now if they could hammerlock down Bruno and Backlund.) Hey, the guy was one of the most entertaining personalities in the history of the business, and despite his limitations in the ring, he had an uncanny ability to tell a damn good story. Hogan’s also been in the entertainment news lately, along with his daughter, Brooke, would-be pop sensation. (Actually, if Brooke’s goal is to be the next Britney Spears, who recently has looked like the next Nadia, then the timing is certainly right.) The two will be featured tomorrow night on the VH-1 reality show (INSIDE) OUT: HULK HOGAN—STAGE DAD, the first of eight episodes.
According to the VH-1 Web site, the show “bears witness to the passing of the torch from superstar dad to his celebrity-bound daughter, Brooke. Ironically, just as Brooke’s career begins to gain its legs, Hulk has to undergo major hip surgery which restricts him to the bed, unable to be present for her first steps into the pop music arena.” Oh, the cruel irony of it all. Good lord, Hogan must’ve Hulked up pretty quickly from that surgery because every time I’ve seen Brooke, Hogan is attached to her hip. (I can almost hear him now, “Didn’t sell that surgery a bit, brother!”) More good stuff from the site: “His wife, Linda, and Brooke continue to press on, coordinating with famed talent-impresario Lou Pearlman (N'Sync, Backstreet Boys founder) to choose and record her first hit songs.” What, Jimmy Hart wasn’t available? It’s probably a blessing for Brooke that Hulk was on the shelf—he was reportedly pushing for a remake of “Real American.”
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Brooke is rumored to be singing the National Anthem at WrestleMania, as she has been doing at several pro sporting events nationwide, including prior to a Tampa Bay Bucs home game. THE WRESTLING OBSERVER also reports that the show will feature
cameos by Hogan’s cronies Brian Knobbs of the Nasty Boys and Jimmy Hart, as Hulk hired them to spy on his daughter when she goes on her first date in one of the first episodes. (I can imagine Hart screaming with his megaphone: “Take your hands off her, baby!” Apparently, the WWE writing team is scripting the show. Ah, well, reality in wrestling has always been blurred to say the least.)
Don’t gimme Hemme: While a magazine headline like WWE CHAMPION DIVA screaming across PLAYBOY sounds promising, don’t get too excited. Nope, Trish Stratus hasn’t finally accepted Hef’s offer to pose nude. Instead, we get Christy Hemme.
Not too shabby, but she’s not in Trish’s league—as a babe or as a performer. As Bobby Heenan said when sizing up Hulk Hogan’s belt to that of the Real World champion Ric Flair years back: “That’s like comparing ice cream to horse manure.”
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