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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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Lights! Camera! Zombies!

By John McLean

June 23, 2005

Part Eight: Outside The Box!

We're in the last week before the start of Principal Photography on our crazy-ass Zombie musical, with all the attendant ups and downs and dramas and causes for celebration. With rare exception, the cast and crew are completely assembled...and truly they're an amazing bunch, most of them spectacularly talented and creative in multiple arenas. Perhaps the greatest advantage to dwelling in the world of independent cinema is providing people opportunities to utilize their creativity to the greatest advantage.

Hollywood, much like the rest of society, puts people in little boxes, then tries like the dickens to keep 'em there. Because, you know, a man or woman who can't be categorized or compartmentalized could be...dangerous!

I lived in Los Angeles for several years and served my time on big movie productions, where people aren't people, but merely job titles. They're the 2nd AD or Script Supervisor or Asst. Set Dresser. The idea that a tank top-clad Grip or the lonely soul behind the Craft Service table could come up with a brilliant comic bit or weigh in on costume design would be considered ludicrous on a studio picture.

Whereas virtually all the creative people I've ever met have the ability to be creative no matter what circumstances they find themselves in...IF given a space to play in and permission to play. Most members of my cast and crew have unbelievable amounts to offer beyond their core contributions to Z. I have a Production Designer who also sings, a Director of Photography who acts, a Make-Up Supervisor who dances, a Choreographer who composes, and on and on--with even these additional duties only scratching the surface of their collective creativity.

In the end, quite a number of folks on Z are working both sides of the camera, playing on both offense and defense. If I could impart just one small lesson to any independent filmmakers who might be perusing these chronicles, it would be to go out of your way to discover what ELSE the people working on your project can do--or, especially, what else they'd LIKE to do--and then give them opportunities to play. Encourage everyone to be as creative as possible in every possible circumstance.

Because, you know, people will even put THEMSELVES in boxes, if you let them. Don't let them. The meekest, quietest member of your crew has ideas aplenty that could make your show that much better--if you just make an effort to draw it out of her.

NON-AUDITIONS...

A couple of weeks ago we had our only Open Auditions. Naturally, we didn't ask anybody to actually perform. Instead we chatted with the applicants and got a feel for who they are, for their personality and passions and their own personal nuttiness. 'Cause EVERYBODY in this business is nutty in some way, shape or form...which is to be expected and even embraced. (It's the seemingly "normal" ones, who have no ostensible nuttiness-osity, that you gotta watch out for and, in my view, avoid at all costs.)

Apropos my penchant for not allowing actors to audition in the traditional sense (for much more on this topic, check out Part Five: Showing Up in the "Lights! Camera! Zombies!" ARCHIVES), recently I was rewatching FAME--a brilliant piece of filmmaking, although it isn't actually a musical, of course, but rather a picture that simply has some kick-ass musical numbers in it. After an initial, pro forma round of auditions, director Alan Parker ultimately cast the 8 leads (out of over 7000 initial applicants!) not through call-backs and readings and such-like, but by spending time with them, taking them to dinner and generally discovering their true personalities...the way you'd normally get to know anybody, albeit the exact opposite of the way directors usually go about getting to know actors!

We had an excellent turnout for the "non-auditions" and were able to fill out most of the remaining cast--which includes some 65 Speaking Parts, numerous Featured Extras and a Zombie Dog.

Now, finding great actresses for the few roles requiring Zombie Nudity (or "Zombidity", as one wag termed it) has been fairly simple. However, this picture is an equal opportunity offender, with male nudity as well. Rather to my surprise, finding great actors willing to disrobe has been only slightly less challenging than Paracelsus' lifelong quest to find the Philosopher's Stone. (Hint: Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim, better known as the quintessential alchemist, Paracelsus, is STILL looking!)

THE BIG V...

The largely female crew on Z has informed me that none of them are particularly surprised by the male actors' nearly paralyzing fears of getting naked. Perhaps--and I'm just searching for an explanation here; I should drop Camille Paglia a note, since she could surely explain it right off the top of her head--this has to do with the Big V: Vulnerability.

Despite the male species' much-touted propensity for risk-taking, maybe they prefer to hedge their bets and not make themselves (i.e., their feelings, their emotions...their truly vital bits) too open to the judgment of the hoi polloi. And since most men operate far more on the "outside" than on the "inside", exposing their manhood would ipso facto prove to be their ultimate act of vulnerability.

That's one theory. Another is that perhaps through a series of freak coincidences, all of the male actors I've asked to consider playing the leading male role--which includes a small measure of nudity and a large measure of memorable, scenery-chewing scenes with all their clothes on--happen to have freakishly small penile units and are justifiably anxious to avoid exposing their teeny-tiny wieners until such time as they can afford a Porsche Carrera of their own, after which nobody who matters will ever again notice or mind their, uhhh, short-comings.

In any case, we're still a few weeks away from shooting any scenes involving the male lead, so I'm not particularly worried about finding the right actor for the part...though, in truth, a part of me sorta hopes I won't actually find the right actor and then I can recast the role with a Sock Puppet, which could add no small amount of extra silliness to the picture and would be so much more fun to work with! ("Yo, what are you doing after we finish shooting tonight?" "Oh, me and the Sock Puppet are heading down to Sixth Street, maybe grab a beer or two...wanna come?" "Shit yeah! Hey, everybody, who wants to go partying with the Sock Puppet?!")

So next Saturday marks the start of Principal Photography, but then the very next day the Shooting Unit (heh-heh, I said "unit"!) is off while a few of us spend our first full day in Studio, recording music and vocals for four of the songs in Z. Sooth to say, there are approximately 1.5 Recording Studios for every man, woman and child in Austin...but we found the best one through the sheer good fortune of a recommendation by yet another of our actor/composer/musicians. (Yup, we're ALL hyphenates on this bus!)

We'll be repairing to a swank, private house right on Lake Austin for our recording sessions, where the eponymously titled Ben Blank Media is conveniently located. (Convenient, at least, for owner Ben Blank, who only has to roll out of bed to do his work!) Monsieur Blank has produced and/or engineered something like eleventy-eleven million albums in his day...among them eight (count 'em, 8!) Gold Records!

It's our great good fortune that Ben Blank is willing to slum with the likes of us long enough to record music and singing for the 12--soon to be 13, since I'm penning one final song that'll play near the end--songs in Z. It's our even greater good fortune that during the downtimes in the recording sessions we can skip right across the street and literally jump in the lake to cool off! Or--just an idea here--if dude has long enough cables, maybe we could float in the lake on giant inner-tubes with six packs hanging off the sides and simply perform and sing right out on the water!

BACK TO WORK...

That's it for this go round! Gotta jump back into the whirlwind of camera and make-up tests, music and choreography rehearsals, phone calls, e-mails and meetings, meetings, meetings that you'd expect at this phase of production, during these frenetic days before the ball finally gets rolling.

Next time we'll put up the final teaser trailer we've created for Z and cover the music/singing sessions in some detail. If you have any comments or suggestions or just need a place to crash during your next visit to Austin, feel free to drop me a line anytime!

Until then...

Release Your Inner Zombie!

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall